INDEX BY TOPIC TO ALL "News of Hope" Newsletters!

Wide variety of topics covered since 1999 to present!
Check out topics ranging Ato Z on youth and family issues.
Current research and findings on underage drinking, alcohol and drug prevention for teens,
teen texting issues, teen violence, teen pregnancy, stress management for teens and adults, school assemblies, brain development around alcohol and drug abuse, teen date rape, college drinking patterns and concerns, and on and on!

http://www.legacyofhope.com/newsletter_articles_INDEX.htm

2010 News of Hope Newsletter

January, 2010 - http://www.legacyofhope.com/Jan_2010.htm
* Grant Money Available for Public-Health Conferences
* Excellent Information Resources You May Not Be Aware Of
* The Debate over Legalizing Marijuana is hot and heavy - New Information for to consider:
Article 1: Daily Marijuana Use Could Cause Permanent Brain Damage
Article 2: Should California Legalize Marijuana?
* Organizations Pushing Back Against Drugs

February, 2010 - http://www.legacyofhope.com/Feb_2010.htm
* One In Ten Jobless Young People Driven To Drugs Or Alcohol
* U.S. Teens VS European Teens on Alcohol, Tobacco Use
* WEBINAR FOR EDUCATORS: Drugs, Abuse, & At-Risk Students: Do's & Don'ts for Helping
Your Students
* One in Four Girls Aged 12-17 Involved in Serious Fights or Attacks in Past Year
* FREE ON-DEMAND WEBCAST - The Brain On Drugs
* Legacy of Hope® - Evidence-Based motivational school assemblies - Impact and Efficacy of
the program Evidence of the Efficacy of the LEGACY OF HOPE® Program

March, 2010 - http://www.legacyofhope.com/Mar_2010.htm
* Believe that PARENT influence is CRUCIAL - Curb alarming rise in use levels
* Believe you CAN: Get a Grant! LEGACY OF HOPE IS evidence-based
* Believe in Helping: Many U.S. Kids Have Addicted Parents
* Believe in Change: DSM-V to include Addictive Disease Classifications
* Believe you CAN: Relieve the stress, Be happy!
* Believe there is Hope: Websites for Therapeutic Schools and Boot Camps

April, 2010 - http://www.legacyofhope.com/Apr_2010.htm
* ALCOHOL AWARENESS MONTH:
* Help Save a Friend's Life
* Socializing with Heavy Drinkers Increases Alcohol Consumption
* New Research Finds Link Between Drug Abuse and Obesity
* Healthcare Reform Law Gives Big Boost to Addiction Treatment and Prevention

May, 2010 - http://www.legacyofhope.com/May_2010.htm
* Colleges Confront Misuse of Prescription Drugs
* Awash in Synthetic Drugs
* Poisoning by Prescription Drugs on the Rise
* NIH Podcast Shines Light on Prescription Drug Abuse in Women

June, 2010 - http://www.legacyofhope.com/June_2010.htm
* Countries Agree to Fight the Harmful Use of Alcohol with Global Strategy
* Kerlikowske Says Drug War Has 'Not Been Successful' - What do you think?
* More Teens start Smoking Marijuana in June and July ---
* How Teens can Handle Feelings and Gossip - full article on Susie's Blog
* How One community Successfully and Significantly Reduced Youth Alcohol and Drug Abuse
*Is it TIME for Stress Management?

July, 2010 - http://www.legacyofhope.com/July_2010.htm
* Dentists May Be First to Detect Methamphetimine Use
* College Students Today are Less Empathetic Today
* Prescription Drug Use has Gone Sky High - DON'T NEGLECT PREVENTION
* Hooked on Hookah: More Carcinogenic than Cigarettes?

August, 2009 News of Hope

August, 2009 - http://www.legacyofhope.com/Aug_2009.htm
* Harry Power Drunk! See what parents are saying . . .
* New Resource Shows Parents Where To Look For Drugs In Their Homes
* De-Stress for Success® System is HERE!
* Alcoholism Among Pre-Teens Often Unnoticed, Untreated - Alcohol and Drug Prevention for Teens is Critical

1,000 kids kids become new, regular smokers every day? NEW HOPE TO STEM THE ADDICTION

Kudo's to the US Senate for passing new legislation on June 11, 2009 that will for the first time allow the FDA to strongly regulate cigarettes and other tobacco products.

According to Nancy Nielsen, M.D., American Medical Association (AMA) President,
“More than 400,000 Americans die needlessly every year as a direct result of tobacco use. The actions resulting from this landmark legislation may make people think twice before picking up a cigarette. The sad truth is that tobacco-related deaths are the number one preventable cause of death in the U.S. "

"Approximately 1,000 kids become new, regular smokers every day. These new marketing restrictions can help keep our kids away from cigarettes so they can become healthy adults.”

How HOPEFUL that the federal government and President Obama are willing to take hard stands against the expensive costs of nicotine addiction and the needless loss of human lives.
Let's face it, if we had 400,000 war-related deaths each year, it would be considered ultimate tragedy and insanity. Why should we as a society be any less appalled by the vast number of illnesses, diseases and death from cigarettes? It's all in the "marketing." Tobacco companies have sold our youth and society with commercials, billboards and packaging that make cigarettes look glamorous, relaxing, calming, empowering -- and, at long last, there will be some powerful regulation to reduce the attraction and availability - especially to youth.

Thousands of teens have been startled when told during my LEGACY OF HOPE® assemblies that the primary cause of male impotence by 40 yrs of age is ... cigarettes. Put that in your pipe and smoke it! Teen males squirm, and teen girls giggle - none the less, it makes it clear that cigarettes are a poison to the human body and have the power to take untold pleasures of life away!

“Family Smoking Prevention and Tobacco Control Act” - very good act to follow!

2009 Newsletters

November, 2009 - http://www.legacyofhope.com/Nov_2009.htm
* Helping Your Preteen Cope with Feeling Left Out
* Alcohol the Real Date-Rape Drug, Study Says
* TEXT SPEAK - Affecting Teen Communication Skills
* Celebrating Fall Colors with You!

October, 2009 - http://www.legacyofhope.com/Oct_2009.htm
* 2009 National School Survey Finds Small but Significant Increases in
* Adolescent Alcohol, Tobacco, Drug Use
* Mothers Against Drunk Drivers Creates new line of Nonalcoholic Virgin Drinks
* Should Drugs Be Legalized? Many Critical of Drug War...
* New Help for Parents to Raise Drug-Free Kids
* Teenage Parties - Parent Guide

September, 2009 - http://www.legacyofhope.com/Sept_2009.htm
* Most People Overestimate Their Self-Control.
* One in Five Teens Share Their Prescription Drugs with Friends.
* American Psychological Association (APA) says WE ARE STRESSED.
* Mental Health and Help for Children.
* JOIN Susie on FACEBOOK.
* Teens say: It's not about Drinking... It's about Getting DRUNK
* LEGACY OF HOPE® - School Assembly Program

August, 2009 - http://www.legacyofhope.com/August_2009.htm
Harry Power Drunk! See what parents are saying . . .
* New Resource Shows Parents Where To Look For Drugs In Their Homes
* De-Stress for Success® System is HERE!
* Alcoholism Among Pre-Teens Often Unnoticed, Untreated

June, 2009 - http://www.legacyofhope.com/June_2009.htm
* KEEP YOUTH SAFE DURING PROM AND GRAD SEASON
* TEEN TALK - Great new website on Teen Pregnancy for Teens and Parents
* PROMOTE PREVENTION - How you can Help
* JOIN Susie on FACEBOOK - for fun and for free!

May, 2009 - http://www.legacyofhope.com/May_2009.htm
* GET TESTED FOR STD'S
* THC IN MARIJUANA Tops 10 Percent
* HELP NOW! SAVE "Safe and Drug Free Schools and Communities" Funding *
* JOIN Susie on FACEBOOK!

April, 2009 - http://www.legacyofhope.com/April_2009.htm
* Test to see if Your Drinking is Risky!
* GIRLS LIFE Magazine - Pharmaceutical Drug Abuse by Teens
* Deal with Teen STRESS!
* Mental health and Substance Abuse During Tough Times

March, 2009 - http://www.legacyofhope.com/Mar_2009.htm
* Pot Linked to Testicular Cancer
* Liquor Ads Return to Prime Time
* Teens and Adults Choose Same Brand of Cigarettes
* New Drug Czar - Gil Kerlikowske

February, 2009 - http://www.legacyofhope.com/feb_2009.htm
* EMPLOYERS: About young adult employee alcohol and substance abuse
* PARENTS: Ritalin Causes Brain Changes Similar to Cocaine
* PHYSICIANS: 1.7 Million Emergency Room Visits are Drug Related
* SCHOOLS: Heads Up on a Great Alcohol and Drug Awareness Resource
* COLLEGE STUDENTS: Speak Up on the drinking age 18 or 21
* COLLEGE STUDENTS: What Research Says about lowering the drinking age to 18

January, 2009 - http://www.legacyofhope.com/Jan_2009.htm
* Trend 2009: Video Game and Internet Addiction
* Trend 2009: Heard of i-doser.com??
* Trend 2009: Address the Stress: Workbook and Workshop from LEGACY
* Trend 2009: WEIGHT UP in College: Beware the FRESHMAN 15!

2008 Newsletters

November, 2008 http://www.legacyofhope.com/Nov_2008.htm
• Alcohol Use Among Hispanic Youth
• The Choking Game - New Deadly High
• Steroid Use and How to Test Your Kids
• Parents' Alcoholism - One Teen's Story (from Al-Anon/Alateen)

October, 2008 http://www.legacyofhope.com/Oct_2008.htm
• Alcohol Pouches Appeal to Teens
• Energy Drinks linked to Teenage Risky Behavior
• Negative Childhood Experiences Precipitate Earlier Drinking
• Prescription Drug Use on the Rise – A National Concern
• Mouthwash to Get High

September, 2008 http://www.legacyofhope.com/Sept_2008.htm
• How Clothing Fits in Adolescence
• Teens and Stress: What 93% of Parents Do NOT Know
• ANNOUNCING NEW STRESS MANAGEMENT WORKBOOK from LEGACY!

August, 2008 http://www.legacyofhope.com/Aug_2008.htm
• Hip Hop Culture: More than Meets the Eye
• Hipster Subculture: Cooler than the Cool Kids?
• Nerd Revolution
• Jock Image - Rethinking
• Mom’s are Cliquing, too?

June/July, 2008 http://www.legacyofhope.com/July_2008.htm
• Childhood Obesity: How America's Children Packed on the Pounds
• Help My Overweight Child
• Body Image: Men and Boys Lack Treatment Options
• Young Girls and Body Image: When Mothers Stop Being Role Models
• A Toolkit for Healthy Girls and Strong Women

May, 2008 http://www.legacyofhope.com/May_2008.htm
• Observations from the Road - Susie Vanderlip
• Current Drug Trends in America's Youth
• Parenting/Grandparenting Tools
• Girls Most Frequent Abuser of Prescription Drugs
• Prevent Prescription Medicine Abuse
• Help School Nurses Address Rx Abuse
• Group Therapy Works for Youngest Addicts/Teens

April, 2008 http://www.legacyofhope.com/April_2008.htm
• 21 Minimum Drinking Age Effectiveness
• Alcohol Ed and Drivers Ed Together
• Parents Driving Drunk with Children in Car
• Training for Alcohol Servers

March, 2008 http://www.legacyofhope.com/Mar_2008.htm
• Technology and Its Impact on How Teens are Communicating
• Internet Addiction Among Teens
• Put Their Phones Down?
• About Myspace! for Parents
• Internet Safety Tips for You and Your Kids

February, 2008 http://www.legacyofhope.com/feb_2008.htm
• What is Anxiety?
• Anxiety Disorders
• Worry Sucks the Life out of Teens: Commentary by Susie Vanderlip
• Teens Worry About...
• Relieving Your Teen's Worries

January, 2008 http://www.legacyofhope.com/January_2008.htm
• Definition of Gossip
• Relational Aggression
• Queen Bees: Girls as Gossip Ringleaders
• Men vs. Women- Gossip Findings
• Defending Ourselves Against Gossip
• Gossip in the Workplace

WORRY is sucking the Life out of our Kids

Following my school assemblies, I stay on school campuses, as many of you know, for hours upon hours meeting with individual teens and groups of teens from two to fifty who often desperately want to get things off their chest. I talk to some 5,000 teens every year in grades 6 thru 12 each year in states all across the US and from every economic and cultural background to be found in our vastly diverse country. Needless to say, I get a snapshot of what is happening in the minds and hearts of our teens that I feel extraordinarily privileged to experience and equally responsible for sharing with any other adult who cares about our national treasure - our youth.

And across this diverse collection of disclosures I see two undeniable patterns in teen thinking. 1. Many, way too many, are plagued by deep sadness/grief/PTSD and 2. They worry.

When I ask teens if they worry, 99% of teens say they worry. Do they learn to worry from their parents? Many admit that their parents worry “a LOT”, and that they as teens have learned that “worrying” is what you do to manage in life. Many parents do worry a lot. And what IS worry? “Worry” is fear over something we imagine/anticipate/expect will happen in the future. What do we hope to accomplish by worrying? Perhaps it is a way of trying to protect ourselves from overwhelming emotional pain if what we fear actually happens. If we anticipate something bad happening and then worry about it, maybe it will somehow provide some method of avoiding the bad thing happening.

The funny thing is, worry in and of itself does nothing to control our future, it just steals our focus and our energy from today! We impact the future by making TODAY as good as possible – focusing our analytical skills and our energy and our efforts to making today’s activities and responsibilities as positive and successful as we can. THAT is what prepares us to handle “come what may” – because the future is truly only in the hands of forces beyond our control – for me, I like to call that God.

If teens live in a family where a spiritual approach to life is not present, then worry becomes the method of fear management. When disappointments, chaos, confusion or tragedy strike, it is difficult to make any sense of them without a belief in a Higher Power/God. It is difficult to believe there is any rhyme or reason or hope of things getting better. So, teens – parents – people WORRY.

Many teens worry because of their parents and their parents’ behaviors. I know because
thousands upon thousands of teens share with me about parents with drinking problems and the resulting chaos, unpredictability, verbal/physical/sexual abuses, and unrelenting anger they witness in their homes. Parental alcoholism often generates fierce arguments, incessant criticisms and degradation, severe financial stress and divorce within a family. All this chaos teaches the children/teens to “worry” incessantly. What will they come home to after school today? Will they be blamed for everything that happens in the household tonight? Will Dad beat up Mom again after downing his couple six packs this evening? Will Dad run around the house with a shotgun threatening the whole family when he’s loaded by midnight? Worry is often the only thing a teen knows to do to keep a grip in an unsafe insanity they have to call home. I worried, too, when I lived with an alcoholic/drug addicted husband – at least until I found help and hope in support groups for the families of alcoholics.

And then there are the high-achievers and teens from middle to upper middle class families who are in the highest level of competition with their peers for grades, AP classes, and entrance into the better universities. These teens worry extensively, too, only in their case, about meeting the expectations of their parents and the high expectations they have of themselves. They live in a highly stressful world as well where the “fear of not being loved” is usually described as a fear of failure – of not making the grade in the higher echelons of life.

Many young people learn to worry because of past pain they want to avoid in the future – usually the pain of feeling like a failure and, beneath that, the fear of not being lovable – and, in its final form, the fear of not receiving love and acceptance.

It’s easy to see how children from abusive homes can feel unloved and, though perhaps less recognized, how children from high achieving families feel unloved if they don’t perform to expectations.

Curing “worry” is a matter of healing for many teens. Healing the past traumas that linger as vivid DVD movie images in the minds of teens and that do not degrade or diminish in emotional intensity over time. Preteens through teens regularly describe to me in acute detail the memories of traumas from yesterday, or one, three, five, even 8 years ago that happened in their homes. How does a child stop “worrying” when they have post traumatic stress (PTSD)? That is what many will carry with them for a lifetime without help from therapy, support groups, self-help groups, etc.

Other teens can be helped if adults who understand the number one fear of teens – the fear of one or both parents not loving them – and who give teens a helping perspective. The behaviors of their parents are not a child’s fault! The choices of a parent are not a teen’s fault. The drinking, drug use, and abuse of a parent are not the children’s fault.
And that their parent may be sick with addiction and/or unknowingly acting out the unhealed traumas of their own childhood.

Teens from high-achievement oriented homes can be helped by parents showing their teens that they love them no matter what. By helping their teens see that there is no outcome that will keep them from loving their children. I encourage parents to reassess their expectations of their children and beware of placing their own fear of failure on the backs of their teens. See each child as an individual with special traits, skills and lovability, whether they fulfill YOUR dreams for them or not. Be an encourager, a boundary setter, a storyteller, a hugger, a helper, a dream builder, a coach - but not a
judge and jury that labels a teen “a loser,” “a slacker,” a “disappointment,” “an unworthy B----,” or many of the other unspeakable categorizations that, sadly, too many teens have heard from parents. And it is acutely clear to me that once said to a child, children/teens remember these labels for LIFE if amends and apologies are not made immediately by parents. The brain of a developing child/teen is like a sponge. And whatever a parent fills it with is absorbed, becoming a prominent part of the internal chatter of that child for life.

“Worry” sounds so innocuous but it is often symptomatic of much more emotional need in a teen than most adults may ever imagine. So, treat it as an indicator that a teen may need more compassion, patience, kindness and time with you, their parent. Teens are still quite literal. They need to hear the words, “I love you no matter what.” They need to receive hugs for their effort regardless of the result. They need to receive encouragement even as they fail to score. They also may need therapy, conversations with a social worker or school counselor, participation in support groups for such things as children of alcoholics/violence or anger management, and opportunities to find their interests, skills and new goals.

Lastly, encourage spiritual pursuits. Encourage a quiet time, a quiet mind. Encourage acts of kindness and gratitude lists. Encourage journaling and getting the emotions out on paper. And encourage prayer – even when they feel their God has forgotten them or thinks they aren’t as important or loved by God. Keep YOUR mustard seed of faith and pass it along to your kids.

New Editorial - Male Body Image Issues

This week, Legacy's intern is back with an article about Male Body Image issues, and how they are more than what they may seem.


Male Body Image - By Steve Taylor, November 5, 2007


You can read the article directly above, and you may also visit the editorials page at http://legacyofhope.com/Editorials.htm.

College Student Speaks Out - "Foibles of Teen Life Today"

LEGACY is proud of the university interns we have employed over the last 12 years. Not only do they keep us on the cutting edge of real life in the fast lane of adolescence and young adult living, but they are in sync with what's really going on with today.

We begin our NEW Editorial Page with unique and interesting perspectives from our 2007-2008 intern, Steve Taylor, Chapman University student and Business Major:


Steroids for Students: How ADD medication is changing study habits - By Steve Taylor, September 25, 2007

The Travesty of Technology: Because texting is so much easier than talking - By Steve Taylor, September 23, 2007


You can read all the latest articles by visiting http://legacyofhope.com/Editorials.htm, and we welcome your comments and remarks below!

Burnt Out, Stressed Out, and Pilled Up!

Everywhere I turn this new school year, school counselors, teachers, parents and teens are telling me they’re OVERWHELMED, feeling depressed, spewing inappropriate anger and rage, and dissatisfied with their lives. It’s STRESS –a world of excessive - I mean EXCESSIVE – Expectations… High-achievers have parents breathing down their necks for every mistake and imperfection.

“You won’t get into the top colleges if you aren’t at the top of your class!” exhort pushing parents.

“You’ll be handling the Jr’s and Sr’s this semester including scheduling, college applications, and 10 other essential administrative activities,” declare administrators to counselors who work hours of unpaid overtime to listen to teen problems because no time is available during the school day.

“Now, don’t stress-out in my class,” a teacher kindly chides her students, then assigns two-hours of homework every night, drops a daily spot quiz on them and 5 major exams throughout the semester.

And then there are the incessant text messages from friends that have to be responded to as well as the required 3 extra-curricular activities and volunteer hours each week in order to be competitive on college applications.

Too many expectations with no room to make mistakes, to try and to fail and to try again, to know we are loved not because of what we DO but because we ARE.

We are not Human Doings, my friends, we are Human Beings! We don’t have to be perfect – we don’t have to get into the best university – to be loved! We might actually be HAPPY and find fulfillment from our losses and our imperfections – from going to a second tier college with less stress and more personal attention and personal growth.

I had a call just this week from a school counselor who was at her wits end, stressed to the extreme, because the students at her magnet Advanced Placement high school were too stressed, and cheating. She wanted stress management education for her students, and then she determined maybe better for the teachers and let them disseminate the information. Good call.

What was of greatest concern to me was that the school absolutely did NOT want to have the focus of stress management on alcohol and drug use or sexuality or violence because, well, this was about “STRESS MANAGEMENT”. I have no problem providing stress management training for the body, the mind and the spirit – finding life balance within self-awareness, self-care, and self-nurturance in all these areas. That is my and my husband’s area of expertise. However, how can we look at stress management without looking at how we cope with pressure and emotions in our lives? And how many parents, from low-education/low-income to highest achieving, model chemical coping – alcohol, painkillers, pot, cocaine, methamphetamines, valium, Vicodan, Oxycontin and more to manage the fears and failures of normal every day living?

Stress is the great catalyst to choice! Because STRESS is the 6-letter cover-up for so many uncomfortable feelings including a great fear of failure, fear of inadequacy, and fear of not being loved.

I’ll be exploring this perspective in greater detail this year and including CHOICES that are critical to our sense of well-being, fulfillment and joy in life.

All achievement and no play makes for a depressed teen/adult!

Check out my FOX NEWS LIVE INTERVIEW!

June 22, 2007 - FOX NEWS LIVE interviewed me as a youth and family issues expert regarding a 16 yr-old girl marrying her 40-yr-old track coach --- Whoa, let's think about this one! Not what every parent dreams of for their daughter's future, I am sure!
What do you think of that?

http://www.legacyofhope.com/RealMedia/Fox%20News%20Live%20Clip/Fox%20News%20Live%206-22-07%20SV%20Interview.wmv

Sharing my good news!

I am thrilled to share with my fans, family and friends about receiving the National Speakers Association CPAE Award and being inducted into the Speaker Hall of Fame!
What a fantastic evening it was! As always, "Julio" - my gangbanger character - came out first to try to claim the prize, and then "he" stripped down to reveal me in my elegant white gown!

Admission into the CPAE Speaker Hall of Fame is a lifetime award for speaking excellence and professionalism. Inductees are evaluated by their peers through a rigorous and demanding process. Each candidate must excel in seven categories: material, style, experience, delivery, image, professionalism and communication.

AWESOME!

Q&A with Susie: Teens feelings about Parent's Divorce

Dear Ms. Susie,

I just wanted to thank you for your presentation this morning at my High School. The characters you portrayed were very close to home for me and it touched my heart. It was really nice having you present today and understand what most of us teens go through in our everyday life.

I too, have the emotion of feeling neglected and unloved. My parents divorced when I was in elementary school and I still, to this day, remember every single thing that happened during the time when my parents were in the process of getting a divorce. Every now and then I still cry because my dad doesn't care about me and he has a new wife that doesn't want him to see me. I sometimes feel that it’s my fault that my parents got a divorce. Sometimes I even feel that I was just a mistake. I just wanted to thank you for understanding and I also wanted to say how I can relate to many of the characters. I come from a broken family; it's nice to know someone like you understands.

Sincerely,

Grateful Teen
__________________________________________

Hello Grateful!

THANK YOU for emailing and sharing about your life.
I know how it feels to think things are your fault and that somehow you are responsible for the lack of love from others in your life. Truth is, you did not cause your parents to divorce, nor for your father to neglect you. None of us are a "mistake" in God's world. He wanted us to be born, no matter WHAT craziness our parents may be going through! And having parents that don't seem to care enough is very common because many parents are NOT mature and emotionally intelligent. They are still angry, self-centered kids inside, thinking life is all about THEM! Especially if either of them drinks heavily or does any drugs. Then they are SURE to neglect their kids because alcohol and drugs damage the brains ability to be mature, responsible and able to love.

I think it is important to decide if you want to feel like a "victim" and always the loser or not. It's not easy letting go of thinking we're not good enough. It's even a safe belief to have because then when anything goes wrong, we can always just feel like it is our fault and not have to care or try to make life better! HOWEVER, there are so many LOVING people in the world, who are compassionate, patient, kind and giving. The key is where to find them. You don't find them at parties typically. Usually in places where people are helping other people, involved in service, spiritual endeavors, positive people. At any rate, I encourage you to keep your eyes open for people who DO accept you just the way you are and are RELIABLE in their friendship. Just because parents are not, does not mean you are not lovable and deserve respect and reliable caring from others!

I will keep you in my prayers!
Susie Vanderlip

Q&A with Susie: Teen thinking about joining a gang

Dear Mrs. Vanderlip,

I think that the legacy of hope has taught me a lot about peer pressure. I
think you have probably raised the hearts of many people. That was the most
inspirational presentation I have ever seen. I hope more people have the same thought
as me; I was thinking of joining a gang when I was older but now I don't think
I want to. I'm growing up around drugs and everyone around me is smoking. I have breathing problems and it worries me.

Sincerely,
Undecided Teen
____________________________________________________________________________

Dear Undecided,
I am very glad you listened and understood so much of my message! Yes, peer pressure is strong, but you can be stronger! I am glad you saw that joining a gang doesn't solve the fears, loneliness, anger of life. In truth, they just magnify them and channel them into so much more sadness and loss of good lives.
You are clearly emotionally intelligent, able to think things through and communicate about them. That is sooo terrific! You are way ahead of a lot of young people, and even adults! I encourage you not to ever let yourself down by thinking having feelings is wrong or a weakness. Strong and courageous men and women are those that know their feelings and work daily to channel them in healthy ways as you did with your email.

As far as being around smoking and breathing problems from it, that is a real bummer. I'm sorry your family has such an addiction to cigarettes. They smoke because they think they have to or else they get physically and emotionally irritable/anxious. That is from the nicotine and other drugs in cigarettes. What I suggest you do is try to go into another room or outside for some fresh air, go in your room and open a window. Do what you can to avoid the second hand smoke. I also suggest you pray for them to recognize their addiction and have the desire and ability to quit.
You can't nag, scold, yell at them enough to get them to quit, so I suggest you don't try! It will just make you mad! And, of course, since you've had breathing difficulties yourself, make a personal policy that you don't smoke, EVER! Just tell kids, “I don't choose to smoke. Breathing is IMPORTANT to me!"

If I can answer any more of your questions or help encourage you to keep going in a healthy direction, let me know!

God bless you!
Susie Vanderlip

Q&A with Susie: Mom worries about teen's drinking

Hi Susie,
I am a single parent and right now I am having a very difficult time with my teenage son. He is currently on juvenile probation, involved in a gang and smoking marijuana. His attitude is to the point where he doesn't really care about anything and sometimes he can be really disrespectful and just not wanting to listen to rules or be disciplined. I am willing to reach out for any type of resources that may be able to help my son. I know he has a lot of mixed feelings right now, and he is trying to get on the right track. It is very hard for him, so it seems like your program would really be beneficial for him and our family.
Thank you.
Mom w/ Teenage Son
___________________________

Dear Mom w/ Teenage Son –

My heart goes out to you about your son and your concern for the choices he is making. It’s heartbreaking to see a child going down a destructive path because of their internal emotional struggles.
I would very much like to be able to share LEGACY OF HOPE with your son as well as other teens either at his school and/or in juvenile probation. I regularly do assemblies in schools and for juvenile probation departments. The program does give teens a new view on why they are making the choices they are and an opportunity to ask for help.

As far as your son's situation, I often talk to gang kids and ask about the family - who in the family has/had an alcohol or drug problem? Did his dad? His grandparents? I look for the reasons he feels worthless - where did he get neglected, verbally or physically abused, ignored, yelled at, criticized, etc? If this is in his past, he is likely to be acting out on feeling like a loser. Divorce hits kids hard as well and when they become teens, they grieve again, and think all the problems in their families are somehow their fault and/or resent the family for the pain they are having.
I wrote a book that came out last year that covers more of this. 52 Ways to Protect Your Teen that can give you more insights into your son's feelings and thoughts.

Can you have him drug tested? Can you send him to rehab if he IS using? Can you get him into counseling with you? If he is using or drinking, I highly recommend you find Al-Anon Family Groups for YOU and attend some local meetings where you can get additional support and ideas from other parents who have dealt with similar teen problems and the feelings you have of concern, guilt, worry and fear you may have for your son. The meetings are free, anonymous, no gossip and can be extremely helpful in learning how to interact with your son in a healthy way regardless of his choices.

I hope these ideas are helpful.
I will keep you in my prayers.
Susie Vanderlip

Q&A with Susie: Teen worries about Dad's drinking

Hi Susie,
My dad has a drinking problem and he pushes me around. What can I do?
-Worried Teen
______________________________________________________________________________

Hi Worried Teen -
Check out www.al-anon.alateen.org
Then read everything you can about Alateen, order the pamphlets (they're free), if you can afford any of the books, I encourage you to read the little red book or the Courage to Be Me book. These will help you understand what to do about your dad's drinking and related behavior problems.

Immediately I suggest you do your best to remove yourself from wherever he is when he's been drinking. Don't hang around to be pushed around. Don't argue with him when he's been drinking; you're only arguing with alcohol, and putting yourself in a position to be hurt. Better to be happy than to be right! Alcohol makes people angry, unreasonable, critical, argumentative, and even violent.

Lastly, if he ever hits you or you are scared for your safety, pick up the phone and call 911. Get the police there to protect you and also he will get the message that his drinking and abuse is a problem. You are not being bad or disloyal. Your safety comes first. If you have to, leave and go to a friend's house over night. Where is your mom in all this?

What I am sharing with you is what I, too, learned what to do at Al-Anon/Alateen. It is the smartest steps I know.

Thanks for caring enough about yourself to reach out for help!
Susie

2007 Newsletters

January
http://www.legacyofhope.com/January_2007.htm -Giving Girls Goals

February
http://www.legacyofhope.com/feb_2007.htm -Underage drinking

March
http:/// -DENIAL - Small Word, Big Impact

April
http://www.legacyofhope.com/Apr_2007.htm -Kids and Money -What They Need To Know

May
http://www.legacyofhope.com/May_2007.htm -Drug Test Your Teen - Yes or No - FREE DRUG TESTS AVAILABLE

June
http://www.legacyofhope.com/June_2007.htm -Free GRAND Subscription, Kids of Meth Parents, Prescription Drug Use in Rehab, Power of Parenting Day

July
http://www.legacyofhope.com/July_2007.htm -FOX NEWS LIVE Interview with Susie; Teens & Risk-Taking;Emotional Connection/Attunement facilitates Academic Achievement; Research on Zero Tolerance; and Parents Providing Alcohol at Parties

August
http://www.legacyofhope.com/Aug_2007.htm -Stop Childhood Obesity - Nutrition Newsletter

September
http://www.legacyofhope.com/Sept 2007.htm - Teen Emotional Issues - Talking Helps, Psychotropic Drugs and more

2006 Newsletters

January Newsletter: http://www.legacyofhope.com/jan_2006.htm -
iPod Influence on Teens & Education

February Newsletter: http://www.legacyofhope.com/feb_2006.htm -Teen Prescription Drug Abuse - Pharming Parties

March Newsletter: http://www.legacyofhope.com/mar_2006.htm -The Cheating Game

April Newsletter: http://www.legacyofhope.com/april_2006.htm -Teens and the Internet

May Newsletter: http://www.legacyofhope.com/May_2006.htm - Teens and Excess Stress

June Newsletter: http://www.legacyofhope.com/June_2006.htm -Dangerous Teen Trends - Choking Game, Racy Books

July Newsletter: http://www.legacyofhope.com/July_2006.htm -Sobriety High Schools, Recovery College, Resources on Underage Drinking

August Newsletter: http://www.legacyofhope.com/August_2006.htm -Teaching Teens Tolerance

September Newsletter: http://www.legacyofhope.com/Sept_2006.htm - Essential role of School Counselors in Middle & High School

October Newsletter: http://www.legacyofhope.com/Oct_2006.htm -Eating Issues of Teens

November Newsletter: http://www.legacyofhope.com/November_2006.htm -Arts Impact on Raising Healthy Kids

December Newsletter: http://www.legacyofhope.com/December_2006.htm -Teaching Teens Compassion

2005 Newsletters

January Newsletter: http://www.legacyofhope.com/jan_2005.htm -Alcohol Issues and Medical Community plus more

February Newsletter: http://www.legacyofhope.com/feb_2005.htm -Various topics - Household product Misuse, Alcohol Industry, etc

March Newsletter: http://www.legacyofhope.com/mar_2005.htm -Tobacco/Smoking Impact issues

May Newsletter: http://www.legacyofhope.com/may_2005.htm -Girl Aggression

June Newsletter: http://www.legacyofhope.com/june_2005.htm - Predatory Drugs and Young Adults

July Newsletter: http://www.legacyofhope.com/july_2005.htm - New Drug Concerns, Medical Research and USC Ban on Alcohol

August Newsletter: http://www.legacyofhope.com/aug_2005.htm -Sleep Deprivation - Impact on Teens

September Newsletter: http://www.legacyofhope.com/sept_2005.htm -Eating Habits and their Impact on Teens

October Newsletter: http://www.legacyofhope.com/oct_2005.htm -Teen Gambling Concerns

November Newsletter: http://www.legacyofhope.com/nov_2005.htm -Teen Depression

2004 Newsletters

January Newsletter: http://www.legacyofhope.com/jan_2004.htm -Inhalants, Suicide, Smoking articles

February Newsletter: http://www.legacyofhope.com/feb_2004.htm -Drinking - Variety of Interesting Perspectives re: Teen Drinking

March Newsletter: http://www.legacyofhope.com/mar_2004.htm -Youth Violence Issues

May Newsletter: http://www.legacyofhope.com/may_2004.htm -Teen Depression, Suicide

July Newsletter: http://www.legacyofhope.com/jul_2004.htm -Stress-Induced Teen Drinking, Specific State Alcohol Actions

August Newsletter: http://www.legacyofhope.com/aug_2004.htm -Juvenile Drug Court - Example - Orange County, California

October Newsletter: http://www.legacyofhope.com/oct_2004.htm -Youth Violence, Video Games, and more

November Newsletter: http://www.legacyofhope.com/nov_2004.htm -What Various Countries are Doing about Youth Alcohol and Substance Abuse