Who I Am and What I Do

Maybe you just saw me at your school today, or maybe I talked at a conference you were at in the past... You may remember me best as "Julio", a gang member from the barrio with a mean, alcoholic dad and a painful past... Maybe you'll remember me best as the cheerleader in red whose dad drinks too much, or how about the soccer player whose parents just split and is now cutting on herself because of emotions she cannot face. Maybe you remember these or another of the 8 characters I portray in my one-woman show, LEGACY OF HOPE

All these characters are based on real teens and adults I’ve met on my journey to help teens understand the power and purpose of their feelings and, more importantly, how they drive us from within – how anger, sadness, grief, self-loathing, hopelessness and despair are important emotions that tell us we need to reach out and ask for help from caring and safe people.

I also hope you'll just remember me as Susie, the lady in the red jacket who spoke about a 15 year-old girl and a 17-year-old boy who met in high school, fell madly in love, and later got married. Do you remember how I shared that they first tried alcohol and pot at parties in college (like parties in every high school in America today!)? I shared how HE really liked it. In fact, he turned to alcohol and drugs to cope with the stress/emotions in his life. He was an intelligent and capable person who became a dentist, yet turned to prescription and illegal drugs to handle his feelings, fears, discomfort, anxiety, depression, and disappointments. Then, you may remember my sharing that SHE began to feel suicidal living with him. It didn’t matter how high he got or what he took to get there, he now was mean and angry or ignored her completely. She had been the high school valedictorian and voted Most Likely to Succeed. It did not matter. His criticisms and unkindness eroded her self-esteem. Then, one night, he self-medicated for the flu: took some prescription pain killer (like Oxycontin), drank some alcohol, and snorted lines of cocaine. In the middle of the night, his heart stopped; by morning he was gone. That morning at the age of 35, as I shared, my husband died. This was my story. And, of course, my pain. In the 20+ years since that happened, I have learned so many important lessons about dealing with feelings, how to get out of feeling like a victim, how to heal anger/shame/resentment, who to talk to about grief, and just what it takes to develop emotional wisdom – the key ingredient to feeling happy, joyous and free of past pain.

So, here I am – ready to be a resource to you and your friends if you get what I’m talking about – if someone else’s drinking, drug use, sexual acting out, unkindness, criticism, cruelty has affected your emotions like it did mine. If you come from a family where someone has a drinking or drug problem, or a family with verbal, physical, emotional abuse, perhaps you, too, need to know where to get help. I can help you with that. I am not a therapist, a counselor, or a licensed social worker. I am simply one person willing to share their experience, strength and hope along the road to emotional well-being – particularly if you’ve thought you were the only one dealing with such things.