Have you ever heard a teenager talk about an alcoholic parent and the resultant chaos of their family life? Their self-blame? Their fears and how they fuel enormous amounts of anger, rage and driven to act out because it feels like nobody cares?
I have, in abundance; likely, over 20,000 such teenagers over the past 20 years. And yet, when I heard some teenagers share again this past weekend about the insanity of their parents who drink or react to the drinking spouse, of the verbal and physical abuse, the enormous amount of neglect, the depth of their grief and loss – it hit me in the heart and in the gut, just like it always does.
What’s up with a society that doesn’t acknowledge the emotional damage done to children of alcoholics and addicts? Where are the compassion, honesty and civilized discourse about the family impact of the disease of alcoholism and addiction – especially on the children and the desperate acting-out of teens?
American society is in a thick cloud of denial and ignorance fueled by corporate entities and gang-organizations that make millions if not billions promoting and selling alcohol, legal and illegal drugs to deal with the emotions and the stress in people’s lives. The profiteers do not want to reduce the dependence nor soothe the emotional wounds of the next generation. The more troubled and filled with pain and angst teens and young adults are, the greater consumer of mind-altering substances they become.
In this time of economic crisis, school funding for alcohol and drug abuse counselors is being axed, considered a luxury. Teens dependent on alcohol and drugs to cope with emotional trauma are not about to be academic achievers. And yet, addressing the emotional wounds and the misguided methods of coping are luxury items?
Sorry, but that’s not acceptable humanity in my world view. If youth are the most important resource on the planet as educators and administrators claim, then address their total needs, especially when the stats currently say that 1 in 4 children are living in a home where there is alcoholism or drug abuse. It is time to take alcoholism and drug addiction out of the closet of shame and into the discussion of active, committed prevention, intervention and treatment.
Monday, May 16, 2011
Monday, January 31, 2011
Will Peer Pressure be TOO MUCH for YOUR Grandkids?
By Susie Vanderlip
Susie@legacyofhope.com
www.legacyofhope.com
The term ‘peer pressure’ is tossed about by adults like the dreaded plague.
“It was peer pressure that got my grandson to start smoking pot,” I’ve heard a grandparent say.
“It was the group of kids she hangs out with (peer pressure) that got my daughter into trouble as a teen. She had my granddaughter at 17; and now I see my granddaughter going down the same path. I worry about her,” another grandparent was overheard sharing at a bridge game.
What makes your grandkids succumb to ‘peer pressure’ to drink, do drugs, party with prescription drugs, have irresponsible sex and make other radically poor decisions?
Perhaps this definition of ‘peer pressure’ will help; and help YOU help your grandkids resist it.
Peer pressure is really a combination of two elements:
1. Peer Opportunity – This is when your grand-teen hangs around peers who are drink, smoke pot, use meth or other drugs, party with prescription drugs and/or are having sex – the opportunity to engage in these activities is around your beloved teen;
2. Emotional Vulnerability – This is when your grand-teen has chronic low self-esteem and emotional angst, unresolved hurt/loss/grief from family problems, is filled with significant self-loathing, etc.
Peer Opportunity alone is not enough to make a teen engage in drinking, drug use and sex. I’ve known many teens in my 19 years of working with and coaching 25,000 teens who may hang with teens doing harmful behaviors, but these teens never participate because their self-esteem is such that they wouldn’t want to put themselves in harms way – they feel they have a future and a right to a good future. Though all teens have angst and low self-esteem at times, these teens are not chronically Emotionally Vulnerable so they are internally empowered to say NO.
I’ve worked with many MORE teens, however, that have taken advantage of Peer Opportunity to engage in harmful behaviors because they think they are “losers,” so many feel unloved by one or both parents, so many have been verbally criticized by emotionally troubled parents, so many have felt outcast by parents who don’t pay enough attention to them or never offer positive feedback or encouragement.
The one thing you as a grandparent can do to help YOUR grand-teen resist Peer Opportunity is to recognize and address their EMOTIONAL VULNERABILITY.
Grandparents are in a unique position to get honest with grandkids of any age. In many cases, grandkids don’t feel as chastised or rejected by grandparents, rather, they feel safer. Grandparents are “old,” so grand-teens may feel they know more than their parents who control their lives in ways that seem so arbitrary to a teen.
It is critical that grandparents confront your own guilt over how your adult children turned out, even if they are addicts/alcoholics/divorcees/disappointments to you, and HELP YOUR GRANDKIDS deal with their emotional reactions to their parents. Be up front with grandkids, ask the scary and tough questions:
“Did your parents divorce really hurt you?”
“Do you feel like your mom doesn’t love you because she’s in jail for drug use?”
“Do you remember bad fights at home when you were little? Do you want to tell me about it?”
“Do you feel like you are a loser sometimes or that nobody should love you, honey?” “Do you need help figuring out how to feel OK about yourself?”
“Do you hate your dad because he’s not around and doesn’t call or see you?”
“Do you feel like all the problems at home are all YOUR fault?”
You may wonder, can I really ask my grand teen such pointed questions? ABSOLUTELY! Somebody in their lives has to or the emotional pain they have accumulated from family problems will be TOO MUCH for them to handle – and then Peer Opportunity looks like a way to cope.
Can you let it be OK for them to acknowledge hurt, loss, self-loathing, resentment and grief? Note that GRIEF is very common in teens as their brain matures and they remember highly painful childhood moments – a moment when Mom and Dad got physical in an argument; a moment when Dad or Mom first struck them; a moment when Dad was no longer present in the house and didn’t come by for a birthday or a soccer game; MOMENTS that linger with serious hurt and loss. Teens have NO idea how to process grief – most adults don’t either. That does NOT give us permission to deny it. Denial of grief and loss in our long lives hurts our relationships because we distance ourselves or feel shame or blame or resentment. And how many grandparents themselves turn to alcohol, pain killers or other drugs to cope with their own unresolved grief, loss, and self-loathing?
Now do you get it? Grand teens, even younger grandchildren, need to express the feelings that make them conclude that THEY are the problem; THEY are the untouchable/unlovable. Why NOT drink, do drugs or have irresponsible sex with peers when YOU DON’T MATTER ANYWAY?
BE BRAVE, dear grandparents! Ask the question and then BITE YOUR TONGUE when you want to tell your grandchild that their perception of a situation isn’t true or that you think their feelings are wrong! Please, don’t tell a grandchild that their feelings are wrong. Telling someone their feelings are wrong makes them feel guilty for natural emotional reactions. No one is WRONG for what they feel; feelings just happen! It’s what we do about our feelings that matters. Stay as non-judgmental as you can and just allow your grandchild to get his/her feelings – feelings that may have been pent up and hidden for a very long time or come out as rebellion, anger or depression.
If you make a grand-teen feel WRONG for having certain feelings, they will most likely feel angry and/or hurt, and may try to suppress the feelings you don’t like. Suppressing feelings is not easy or healthy for anyone to do; and that is why alcohol and drugs become very appealing. They are, unfortunately, effective emotional coping tools for a period of time – until the consequences of their use takes hold.
Instead, just do what is called MIRROR their feelings back to your grandchildren:
“It sounds like you hurt a lot, and I’m sorry because I love you.”
“It sounds like you are very angry at your Mom/Dad. I can understand how you feel.”
Then tell them you care about how they feel.
And do the next indicated thing; help them get the extra help they need. Help enable your grandchild to be able to see a counselor, therapist or psychologist – a professional well trained in helping youth express and resolve the feelings that make them Emotionally Vulnerable and susceptible to Peer Opportunity. Consider taking them and yourself to Al-Anon (www.al-anon.org) if your adult children’s drinking or drug use bothers your grandchild or you.
Human beings are emotionally sensitive beings and feelings are part of EVERY DECISION we make, whether we like to admit it or not. So, get strong and courageous and help your grandkids DEAL WITH FEELINGS, rather than hide, deny and suppress. Then, you will significantly help your grandkids resist Peer Pressure.
By Susie Vanderlip
Susie@legacyofhope.com
www.legacyofhope.com
The term ‘peer pressure’ is tossed about by adults like the dreaded plague.
“It was peer pressure that got my grandson to start smoking pot,” I’ve heard a grandparent say.
“It was the group of kids she hangs out with (peer pressure) that got my daughter into trouble as a teen. She had my granddaughter at 17; and now I see my granddaughter going down the same path. I worry about her,” another grandparent was overheard sharing at a bridge game.
What makes your grandkids succumb to ‘peer pressure’ to drink, do drugs, party with prescription drugs, have irresponsible sex and make other radically poor decisions?
Perhaps this definition of ‘peer pressure’ will help; and help YOU help your grandkids resist it.
Peer pressure is really a combination of two elements:
1. Peer Opportunity – This is when your grand-teen hangs around peers who are drink, smoke pot, use meth or other drugs, party with prescription drugs and/or are having sex – the opportunity to engage in these activities is around your beloved teen;
2. Emotional Vulnerability – This is when your grand-teen has chronic low self-esteem and emotional angst, unresolved hurt/loss/grief from family problems, is filled with significant self-loathing, etc.
Peer Opportunity alone is not enough to make a teen engage in drinking, drug use and sex. I’ve known many teens in my 19 years of working with and coaching 25,000 teens who may hang with teens doing harmful behaviors, but these teens never participate because their self-esteem is such that they wouldn’t want to put themselves in harms way – they feel they have a future and a right to a good future. Though all teens have angst and low self-esteem at times, these teens are not chronically Emotionally Vulnerable so they are internally empowered to say NO.
I’ve worked with many MORE teens, however, that have taken advantage of Peer Opportunity to engage in harmful behaviors because they think they are “losers,” so many feel unloved by one or both parents, so many have been verbally criticized by emotionally troubled parents, so many have felt outcast by parents who don’t pay enough attention to them or never offer positive feedback or encouragement.
The one thing you as a grandparent can do to help YOUR grand-teen resist Peer Opportunity is to recognize and address their EMOTIONAL VULNERABILITY.
Grandparents are in a unique position to get honest with grandkids of any age. In many cases, grandkids don’t feel as chastised or rejected by grandparents, rather, they feel safer. Grandparents are “old,” so grand-teens may feel they know more than their parents who control their lives in ways that seem so arbitrary to a teen.
It is critical that grandparents confront your own guilt over how your adult children turned out, even if they are addicts/alcoholics/divorcees/disappointments to you, and HELP YOUR GRANDKIDS deal with their emotional reactions to their parents. Be up front with grandkids, ask the scary and tough questions:
“Did your parents divorce really hurt you?”
“Do you feel like your mom doesn’t love you because she’s in jail for drug use?”
“Do you remember bad fights at home when you were little? Do you want to tell me about it?”
“Do you feel like you are a loser sometimes or that nobody should love you, honey?” “Do you need help figuring out how to feel OK about yourself?”
“Do you hate your dad because he’s not around and doesn’t call or see you?”
“Do you feel like all the problems at home are all YOUR fault?”
You may wonder, can I really ask my grand teen such pointed questions? ABSOLUTELY! Somebody in their lives has to or the emotional pain they have accumulated from family problems will be TOO MUCH for them to handle – and then Peer Opportunity looks like a way to cope.
Can you let it be OK for them to acknowledge hurt, loss, self-loathing, resentment and grief? Note that GRIEF is very common in teens as their brain matures and they remember highly painful childhood moments – a moment when Mom and Dad got physical in an argument; a moment when Dad or Mom first struck them; a moment when Dad was no longer present in the house and didn’t come by for a birthday or a soccer game; MOMENTS that linger with serious hurt and loss. Teens have NO idea how to process grief – most adults don’t either. That does NOT give us permission to deny it. Denial of grief and loss in our long lives hurts our relationships because we distance ourselves or feel shame or blame or resentment. And how many grandparents themselves turn to alcohol, pain killers or other drugs to cope with their own unresolved grief, loss, and self-loathing?
Now do you get it? Grand teens, even younger grandchildren, need to express the feelings that make them conclude that THEY are the problem; THEY are the untouchable/unlovable. Why NOT drink, do drugs or have irresponsible sex with peers when YOU DON’T MATTER ANYWAY?
BE BRAVE, dear grandparents! Ask the question and then BITE YOUR TONGUE when you want to tell your grandchild that their perception of a situation isn’t true or that you think their feelings are wrong! Please, don’t tell a grandchild that their feelings are wrong. Telling someone their feelings are wrong makes them feel guilty for natural emotional reactions. No one is WRONG for what they feel; feelings just happen! It’s what we do about our feelings that matters. Stay as non-judgmental as you can and just allow your grandchild to get his/her feelings – feelings that may have been pent up and hidden for a very long time or come out as rebellion, anger or depression.
If you make a grand-teen feel WRONG for having certain feelings, they will most likely feel angry and/or hurt, and may try to suppress the feelings you don’t like. Suppressing feelings is not easy or healthy for anyone to do; and that is why alcohol and drugs become very appealing. They are, unfortunately, effective emotional coping tools for a period of time – until the consequences of their use takes hold.
Instead, just do what is called MIRROR their feelings back to your grandchildren:
“It sounds like you hurt a lot, and I’m sorry because I love you.”
“It sounds like you are very angry at your Mom/Dad. I can understand how you feel.”
Then tell them you care about how they feel.
And do the next indicated thing; help them get the extra help they need. Help enable your grandchild to be able to see a counselor, therapist or psychologist – a professional well trained in helping youth express and resolve the feelings that make them Emotionally Vulnerable and susceptible to Peer Opportunity. Consider taking them and yourself to Al-Anon (www.al-anon.org) if your adult children’s drinking or drug use bothers your grandchild or you.
Human beings are emotionally sensitive beings and feelings are part of EVERY DECISION we make, whether we like to admit it or not. So, get strong and courageous and help your grandkids DEAL WITH FEELINGS, rather than hide, deny and suppress. Then, you will significantly help your grandkids resist Peer Pressure.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
How to Handle Feelings and Gossip
Wisdom comes in many forms, but EMOTIONAL WISDOM™ is perhaps the most important when it comes to your family, friends and even yourself.
EMOTIONAL WISDOM™ is about seeing that we are all alike on the inside. On the outside, we look different, act different; have different cultural habits, ethnicity, different color hair, eyes, and skin. But on the inside, we all have the capacity to feel loved, wanted and belong. We also all have the capacity to feel lonely, unwanted and alone.
We become emotionally wise when we realize that we can either help ourselves and others feel like they belong and are valued or make ourselves and others feel like losers, unwanted and alone.
Our emotions affect all of our decisions. When we feel unloved and alone, it can be extremely painful. Feeling like we don’t fit in can also fell like we are worthless, not good enough to be liked or loved. These feelings drive many teens, as well as adults, to want to escape the pain. Teens and adults often turn to alcohol, drugs (prescription and/or illegal), self-harm, bullying of others, overeating, and irresponsible sex to escape lonely and other uncomfortable feelings. Humans need love to thrive; no one copes well when they feel unlovable.
Understanding and developing EMOTIONAL WISDOM™ is very helpful. By 7th and 8th grade, teens experience gossip in abundance! When others gossip about us, we no longer feel loved or like we fit in. We no longer feel safe opening up honestly with others. Soon, we may find ourselves gossiping about others as well because when we feel unwanted, unlovable or alone, gossiping takes the attention off of our own feelings for awhile. We may feel better at first when we put others down, but it actually can add more uncomfortable feelings like shame, embarrassment, bitterness, resentment and more.
Here is a simple way to develop the EMOTIONAL WISDOM™ that helps to deal with uncomfortable feelings:
1. Notice when you first feel uncomfortable feelings.
When you start to feel unloved, unwanted, and alone, or that you don’t fit in or aren’t good enough – HALT!
Take the time to ask yourself: What happened that brought on these feelings? Did a parent criticize me before leaving the house? Did someone ignore or snub me when I got to school? Did a teacher scold or give me a nasty look?
2. Rethink the situation and do three things:
A. Think to yourself:
Just because someone criticizes me, doesn’t make it true nor make me a loser.
B. Ask Yourself::
Were they having a bad day? Do they feel lousy about themselves?
Is it REALLY about me or more about them?
C. Be honest with yourself:
Is there some truth to what they said? Was I cold or rude or thoughtless? Do I owe an apology? How can I do better next time?
3. Talk it out with a trustworthy adult.
Find an adult who has EMOTIONAL WISDOM™, someone who understands feelings and doesn’t make fun of others. Ask them to be your “Encourager” – the person you can easily talk to about situations when you are having uncomfortable feelings.
How do you know if they have EMOTIONAL WISDOM™? Emotionally-wise adults are patient; they don’t criticize or scold; they don’t put you down for how you feel or think; they encourage your dreams and goals; and they listen when you talk about feelings including when you feel down, depressed, rejected, hurt, etc. They don’t make you feel “wrong” for being YOU.
Remember: You are not bad no matter what you feel. It is what you do with your feelings that matters.
4. Set a Personal Policy – Resist gossiping about others
Unless it is GOOD GOSSIP where you have something positive to say about
another person, resist saying the negative.
When we talk over feelings with a trustworthy adult, the urge to gossip about
others diminishes. We develop empathy – the ability to understand that other
people, adults as well as teens, can be motivated to gossip because they don’t feel
good about themselves; they may be feeling lonely, unlovable and alone. They
may be full of anger because of rejection. That doesn’t make it right to gossip or
be mean to others, but it can help us not take their words or actions personally or
be so hurt by them.
We can see that taking our uncomfortable and angry feelings out on others, by
gossiping, criticizing, or snubbing others, doesn’t fix the feelings. It only hurts
them and leaves us with more low self-esteem.
Set a personal policy:
I will deal with uncomfortable feelings in a healthy way. I will not gossip.
I will talk about my feelings with a trustworthy adult.
In this way, you will develop EMOTIONAL WISDOM™.
You will help yourself feel more comfortable with yourself and others.
You can be Proud of Yourself!
BIO ON SUSIE VANDERLIP
Dancer, actor, speaker and author, Susie is an internationally-renown theatrical speaker and expert on teens, families, stress management, and prevention of underage drinking, drug use, teen pregnancy, gangs, bullying, and more. She has toured her one-woman show LEGACY OF HOPE® to over one million youth and adults worldwide at schools, communities, churches and conferences. Check her out at www.legacyofhope.com. Follow her on Facebook and Twitter!
800-707-1977 * 2942 E. Chapman Ave #112, Orange, CA 92869
EMOTIONAL WISDOM™ is about seeing that we are all alike on the inside. On the outside, we look different, act different; have different cultural habits, ethnicity, different color hair, eyes, and skin. But on the inside, we all have the capacity to feel loved, wanted and belong. We also all have the capacity to feel lonely, unwanted and alone.
We become emotionally wise when we realize that we can either help ourselves and others feel like they belong and are valued or make ourselves and others feel like losers, unwanted and alone.
Our emotions affect all of our decisions. When we feel unloved and alone, it can be extremely painful. Feeling like we don’t fit in can also fell like we are worthless, not good enough to be liked or loved. These feelings drive many teens, as well as adults, to want to escape the pain. Teens and adults often turn to alcohol, drugs (prescription and/or illegal), self-harm, bullying of others, overeating, and irresponsible sex to escape lonely and other uncomfortable feelings. Humans need love to thrive; no one copes well when they feel unlovable.
Understanding and developing EMOTIONAL WISDOM™ is very helpful. By 7th and 8th grade, teens experience gossip in abundance! When others gossip about us, we no longer feel loved or like we fit in. We no longer feel safe opening up honestly with others. Soon, we may find ourselves gossiping about others as well because when we feel unwanted, unlovable or alone, gossiping takes the attention off of our own feelings for awhile. We may feel better at first when we put others down, but it actually can add more uncomfortable feelings like shame, embarrassment, bitterness, resentment and more.
Here is a simple way to develop the EMOTIONAL WISDOM™ that helps to deal with uncomfortable feelings:
1. Notice when you first feel uncomfortable feelings.
When you start to feel unloved, unwanted, and alone, or that you don’t fit in or aren’t good enough – HALT!
Take the time to ask yourself: What happened that brought on these feelings? Did a parent criticize me before leaving the house? Did someone ignore or snub me when I got to school? Did a teacher scold or give me a nasty look?
2. Rethink the situation and do three things:
A. Think to yourself:
Just because someone criticizes me, doesn’t make it true nor make me a loser.
B. Ask Yourself::
Were they having a bad day? Do they feel lousy about themselves?
Is it REALLY about me or more about them?
C. Be honest with yourself:
Is there some truth to what they said? Was I cold or rude or thoughtless? Do I owe an apology? How can I do better next time?
3. Talk it out with a trustworthy adult.
Find an adult who has EMOTIONAL WISDOM™, someone who understands feelings and doesn’t make fun of others. Ask them to be your “Encourager” – the person you can easily talk to about situations when you are having uncomfortable feelings.
How do you know if they have EMOTIONAL WISDOM™? Emotionally-wise adults are patient; they don’t criticize or scold; they don’t put you down for how you feel or think; they encourage your dreams and goals; and they listen when you talk about feelings including when you feel down, depressed, rejected, hurt, etc. They don’t make you feel “wrong” for being YOU.
Remember: You are not bad no matter what you feel. It is what you do with your feelings that matters.
4. Set a Personal Policy – Resist gossiping about others
Unless it is GOOD GOSSIP where you have something positive to say about
another person, resist saying the negative.
When we talk over feelings with a trustworthy adult, the urge to gossip about
others diminishes. We develop empathy – the ability to understand that other
people, adults as well as teens, can be motivated to gossip because they don’t feel
good about themselves; they may be feeling lonely, unlovable and alone. They
may be full of anger because of rejection. That doesn’t make it right to gossip or
be mean to others, but it can help us not take their words or actions personally or
be so hurt by them.
We can see that taking our uncomfortable and angry feelings out on others, by
gossiping, criticizing, or snubbing others, doesn’t fix the feelings. It only hurts
them and leaves us with more low self-esteem.
Set a personal policy:
I will deal with uncomfortable feelings in a healthy way. I will not gossip.
I will talk about my feelings with a trustworthy adult.
In this way, you will develop EMOTIONAL WISDOM™.
You will help yourself feel more comfortable with yourself and others.
You can be Proud of Yourself!
BIO ON SUSIE VANDERLIP
Dancer, actor, speaker and author, Susie is an internationally-renown theatrical speaker and expert on teens, families, stress management, and prevention of underage drinking, drug use, teen pregnancy, gangs, bullying, and more. She has toured her one-woman show LEGACY OF HOPE® to over one million youth and adults worldwide at schools, communities, churches and conferences. Check her out at www.legacyofhope.com. Follow her on Facebook and Twitter!
800-707-1977 * 2942 E. Chapman Ave #112, Orange, CA 92869
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
New Survey Again Raises Alarm About Teen Drug Use, Attitudes
March 3, 2010
From Join Together:
News Feature
By Bob Curley
A new report finds that more kids say they are using alcohol and other drugs, but many parents are unable or unwilling to deal with the issue -- a bad combination when declining support for prevention and cultural apathy about the issue leave parents as the last and sometimes only line of defense against adolescent drug use.
The 2009 Partnership Attitude Tracking Study (PATS), released March 2 by the Partnership for a Drug-Free America (PDFA) and MetLife Foundation, reported rather dramatic year-over-year spikes in past-month alcohol use (up 11 percent) and past-year use of marijuana (up 19 percent) and ecstasy (up 67 percent) among U.S. students in grades 9-12.
PDFA chairman and CEO Steve Pasierb noted that all three are "social drugs," and the survey of more than 3,200 students, conducted by Roper Public Affairs, found "a growing belief in the benefits and acceptability of drug use and drinking." For example, the percentage of teens agreeing that "being high feels good" increased from 45 percent in 2008 to 51 percent in 2009, and those who said "friends usually get high at parties" increased from 69 percent to 75 percent. Thirty percent of students surveyed strongly agreed that they "don't want to hang around drug users," down from 35 percent in 2008.
"The resurgence in teen drug and alcohol use comes at a time when pro-drug cues in popular culture – in film, television and online – abound, and when funding for federal prevention programs has been declining for several years," according to a PDFA press release on the survey.
The reported spike in alcohol and other drug use and attitudinal shifts are startling enough to warrant skepticism about the validity of the findings. However, Pasierb notes that the PATS survey has been conducted using the same methodology for the past 21 years. The most recent Monitoring the Future survey, released in December, also found that use of illicit drugs has leveled off or increased after years of steady declines, and that youth attitudes about drug use appear to be softening. The 2009 PRIDE Survey of 6th- to 9th-graders reported small increases in current drug use, as well.
The PATS survey found that kids are almost as likely to get information on drugs from the Internet and websites like Youtube as from their parents, school, or media ads. "The preponderance of information that kids get online about drugs is pro-use, and to teens it's more credible," Pasierb told Join Together.
Perhaps the most surprising survey result is the reported increase in use of ecstasy -- a drug that, unlike alcohol and marijuana, has seemed to largely disappear from public consciousness since the mid-2000s. If the survey results are to be believed, more teens are now using ecstasy on a monthly (6 percent) or annual (10 percent) basis than at any point since 2004, and reported lifetime use is higher than ever reported since 1998.
Pasierb said that federal data shows that availability of ecstasy has not declined since 2001-02, and that prices for the drug have fallen. "There was just more news coverage then," he said.
"I don't buy the argument that drug use is cyclical," said Pasierb. "I think it's generational, and based on what we talk to our kids about." Drug-use trends among youth are "very malleable," he added, and what is considered cool or popular can change rapidly from the time a kid enters high school to when they graduate.
Parents Waging a Lonely Battle -- Or Not
About 20 percent of the parents surveyed by PATS believed that their children had gone beyond the experimental phase in use of alcohol or other drugs. However, almost half of these parents either did not take any action (25 percent) or waited for between a month and a year to address the perceived problem (22 percent).
Parents of children engaging in non-experimental drug use were less confident in their ability to influence their kids' drug-use decisions, according to the survey, and were more likely to believe that all teens will experiment with drugs and that occasional use of alcohol or marijuana is tolerable.
"Parents with drug-using kids have never been served by our field," said Pasierb. "They're the outliers, and they should be the focus." PDFA has developed a program called Time to Act that is designed to improve parental knowledge about teen alcohol and other drug use, set rules and boundaries, intervene when necessary, and seek outside help when needed.
"Government prevention programs have all been defunded, and society is not on our side. It's all on the parents now," said Pasierb. "Parents are convinced that their kids are getting all this (drug prevention) in school, and it's just not true. The doctor, school, or football coach is not going to step in."
COMMENTS ON THIS ARTICLE:
Posted by Dan Iser on 03 Mar 10 11:10 AM EST
It would appear that the "cultural apathy" has also filtered into the decisionmaking process that our congressional leaders utilize to determine funding for prevention. Most recently they voted to eliminate the state grants portion of the federal safe and drug-free schools program. This program provided nearly $300 million in funds to all school districts across our nation. Congress eliminated this valuable program because the amount that the average school district received was not enough to make a real difference in prevention substance abuse and violence. Many school-community anti-drug coalitions will be devasted by this action once the flow of funding stops during the 2010-2011 school year. Isn't it about time that we adopted a lesson learned by the tobacco lawyers. We need to sue someone and even perhaps the federal government itself. In realitity it was the Supreme Court that reversed prohibition that allowed the free flow of alcohol across our nation. And isn't it the responsibility of our legal and judicial system at the federal level to stop the passage of heroin and other illegal substances from coming across our borders. How often do you hear that federal agents have been monitoring the flow of illegal drugs from Mexico, South America, etc., and then from one state to another, and finally to the street corner of our communities. This process takes months and even years in order to "build a solid case". In the meantime, more of our children and young adults continue to make purchases and are well on their way to becoming full blow addicts.
Posted by Susie Vanderlip on 03 Mar 10 11:54 AM EST
This article confirms what I'm seeing especially over the last 6 months as a significant decrease in school and societal acknowledgement of the alcohol and drug use and abuse problem among teens. I am a prevention and healthy choices speakers to teens in middle and high schools and the interest in assemblies addressing these issues has severely declined in recent months. Yes, school budgets are struggling, but even Obama's state of the union address did not mention the alcohol/drug issue, and funding has been cut to Safe and Drug Free Schools. Add to that the push to legalize marijuana and apparent message to teens that pot is "safe and everybody's doing it," we are creating the perfect storm for an epidemic alcohol and drug problem in the current generation of youth and into their adult/family futures.
Posted by Susie Vanderlip on 03 Mar 10 01:53 PM EST
Diane asked, "The other reason people use is what?" The answer from my experience is to cope with/avoid feelings. Thousands of conversations with using teens after school assemblies and via email has made it abundantly clear to me that many use to cope with feelings they do not have a clue about what to do with: grief, loss, self-loathing, abandonment, verbal abuse wounds, hopelessness plus PTSD and persistent anxiety from the influence of domestic violence throughout childhood and more. I recommend we focus on developing healthy emotional coping skills in youth - call it stress management if you must - but deal with some of the underlying emotional issues.
check out more comments at:
http://www.jointogether.org/news/features/2010/new-survey-again-raises-alarm.html
From Join Together:
News Feature
By Bob Curley
A new report finds that more kids say they are using alcohol and other drugs, but many parents are unable or unwilling to deal with the issue -- a bad combination when declining support for prevention and cultural apathy about the issue leave parents as the last and sometimes only line of defense against adolescent drug use.
The 2009 Partnership Attitude Tracking Study (PATS), released March 2 by the Partnership for a Drug-Free America (PDFA) and MetLife Foundation, reported rather dramatic year-over-year spikes in past-month alcohol use (up 11 percent) and past-year use of marijuana (up 19 percent) and ecstasy (up 67 percent) among U.S. students in grades 9-12.
PDFA chairman and CEO Steve Pasierb noted that all three are "social drugs," and the survey of more than 3,200 students, conducted by Roper Public Affairs, found "a growing belief in the benefits and acceptability of drug use and drinking." For example, the percentage of teens agreeing that "being high feels good" increased from 45 percent in 2008 to 51 percent in 2009, and those who said "friends usually get high at parties" increased from 69 percent to 75 percent. Thirty percent of students surveyed strongly agreed that they "don't want to hang around drug users," down from 35 percent in 2008.
"The resurgence in teen drug and alcohol use comes at a time when pro-drug cues in popular culture – in film, television and online – abound, and when funding for federal prevention programs has been declining for several years," according to a PDFA press release on the survey.
The reported spike in alcohol and other drug use and attitudinal shifts are startling enough to warrant skepticism about the validity of the findings. However, Pasierb notes that the PATS survey has been conducted using the same methodology for the past 21 years. The most recent Monitoring the Future survey, released in December, also found that use of illicit drugs has leveled off or increased after years of steady declines, and that youth attitudes about drug use appear to be softening. The 2009 PRIDE Survey of 6th- to 9th-graders reported small increases in current drug use, as well.
The PATS survey found that kids are almost as likely to get information on drugs from the Internet and websites like Youtube as from their parents, school, or media ads. "The preponderance of information that kids get online about drugs is pro-use, and to teens it's more credible," Pasierb told Join Together.
Perhaps the most surprising survey result is the reported increase in use of ecstasy -- a drug that, unlike alcohol and marijuana, has seemed to largely disappear from public consciousness since the mid-2000s. If the survey results are to be believed, more teens are now using ecstasy on a monthly (6 percent) or annual (10 percent) basis than at any point since 2004, and reported lifetime use is higher than ever reported since 1998.
Pasierb said that federal data shows that availability of ecstasy has not declined since 2001-02, and that prices for the drug have fallen. "There was just more news coverage then," he said.
"I don't buy the argument that drug use is cyclical," said Pasierb. "I think it's generational, and based on what we talk to our kids about." Drug-use trends among youth are "very malleable," he added, and what is considered cool or popular can change rapidly from the time a kid enters high school to when they graduate.
Parents Waging a Lonely Battle -- Or Not
About 20 percent of the parents surveyed by PATS believed that their children had gone beyond the experimental phase in use of alcohol or other drugs. However, almost half of these parents either did not take any action (25 percent) or waited for between a month and a year to address the perceived problem (22 percent).
Parents of children engaging in non-experimental drug use were less confident in their ability to influence their kids' drug-use decisions, according to the survey, and were more likely to believe that all teens will experiment with drugs and that occasional use of alcohol or marijuana is tolerable.
"Parents with drug-using kids have never been served by our field," said Pasierb. "They're the outliers, and they should be the focus." PDFA has developed a program called Time to Act that is designed to improve parental knowledge about teen alcohol and other drug use, set rules and boundaries, intervene when necessary, and seek outside help when needed.
"Government prevention programs have all been defunded, and society is not on our side. It's all on the parents now," said Pasierb. "Parents are convinced that their kids are getting all this (drug prevention) in school, and it's just not true. The doctor, school, or football coach is not going to step in."
COMMENTS ON THIS ARTICLE:
Posted by Dan Iser on 03 Mar 10 11:10 AM EST
It would appear that the "cultural apathy" has also filtered into the decisionmaking process that our congressional leaders utilize to determine funding for prevention. Most recently they voted to eliminate the state grants portion of the federal safe and drug-free schools program. This program provided nearly $300 million in funds to all school districts across our nation. Congress eliminated this valuable program because the amount that the average school district received was not enough to make a real difference in prevention substance abuse and violence. Many school-community anti-drug coalitions will be devasted by this action once the flow of funding stops during the 2010-2011 school year. Isn't it about time that we adopted a lesson learned by the tobacco lawyers. We need to sue someone and even perhaps the federal government itself. In realitity it was the Supreme Court that reversed prohibition that allowed the free flow of alcohol across our nation. And isn't it the responsibility of our legal and judicial system at the federal level to stop the passage of heroin and other illegal substances from coming across our borders. How often do you hear that federal agents have been monitoring the flow of illegal drugs from Mexico, South America, etc., and then from one state to another, and finally to the street corner of our communities. This process takes months and even years in order to "build a solid case". In the meantime, more of our children and young adults continue to make purchases and are well on their way to becoming full blow addicts.
Posted by Susie Vanderlip on 03 Mar 10 11:54 AM EST
This article confirms what I'm seeing especially over the last 6 months as a significant decrease in school and societal acknowledgement of the alcohol and drug use and abuse problem among teens. I am a prevention and healthy choices speakers to teens in middle and high schools and the interest in assemblies addressing these issues has severely declined in recent months. Yes, school budgets are struggling, but even Obama's state of the union address did not mention the alcohol/drug issue, and funding has been cut to Safe and Drug Free Schools. Add to that the push to legalize marijuana and apparent message to teens that pot is "safe and everybody's doing it," we are creating the perfect storm for an epidemic alcohol and drug problem in the current generation of youth and into their adult/family futures.
Posted by Susie Vanderlip on 03 Mar 10 01:53 PM EST
Diane asked, "The other reason people use is what?" The answer from my experience is to cope with/avoid feelings. Thousands of conversations with using teens after school assemblies and via email has made it abundantly clear to me that many use to cope with feelings they do not have a clue about what to do with: grief, loss, self-loathing, abandonment, verbal abuse wounds, hopelessness plus PTSD and persistent anxiety from the influence of domestic violence throughout childhood and more. I recommend we focus on developing healthy emotional coping skills in youth - call it stress management if you must - but deal with some of the underlying emotional issues.
check out more comments at:
http://www.jointogether.org/news/features/2010/new-survey-again-raises-alarm.html
Monday, March 1, 2010
INDEX BY TOPIC TO ALL "News of Hope" Newsletters!
Wide variety of topics covered since 1999 to present!
Check out topics ranging Ato Z on youth and family issues.
Current research and findings on underage drinking, alcohol and drug prevention for teens,
teen texting issues, teen violence, teen pregnancy, stress management for teens and adults, school assemblies, brain development around alcohol and drug abuse, teen date rape, college drinking patterns and concerns, and on and on!
http://www.legacyofhope.com/newsletter_articles_INDEX.htm
Check out topics ranging Ato Z on youth and family issues.
Current research and findings on underage drinking, alcohol and drug prevention for teens,
teen texting issues, teen violence, teen pregnancy, stress management for teens and adults, school assemblies, brain development around alcohol and drug abuse, teen date rape, college drinking patterns and concerns, and on and on!
http://www.legacyofhope.com/newsletter_articles_INDEX.htm
2010 News of Hope Newsletter
January, 2010 - http://www.legacyofhope.com/Jan_2010.htm
* Grant Money Available for Public-Health Conferences
* Excellent Information Resources You May Not Be Aware Of
* The Debate over Legalizing Marijuana is hot and heavy - New Information for to consider:
Article 1: Daily Marijuana Use Could Cause Permanent Brain Damage
Article 2: Should California Legalize Marijuana?
* Organizations Pushing Back Against Drugs
February, 2010 - http://www.legacyofhope.com/Feb_2010.htm
* One In Ten Jobless Young People Driven To Drugs Or Alcohol
* U.S. Teens VS European Teens on Alcohol, Tobacco Use
* WEBINAR FOR EDUCATORS: Drugs, Abuse, & At-Risk Students: Do's & Don'ts for Helping
Your Students
* One in Four Girls Aged 12-17 Involved in Serious Fights or Attacks in Past Year
* FREE ON-DEMAND WEBCAST - The Brain On Drugs
* Legacy of Hope® - Evidence-Based motivational school assemblies - Impact and Efficacy of
the program Evidence of the Efficacy of the LEGACY OF HOPE® Program
March, 2010 - http://www.legacyofhope.com/Mar_2010.htm
* Believe that PARENT influence is CRUCIAL - Curb alarming rise in use levels
* Believe you CAN: Get a Grant! LEGACY OF HOPE IS evidence-based
* Believe in Helping: Many U.S. Kids Have Addicted Parents
* Believe in Change: DSM-V to include Addictive Disease Classifications
* Believe you CAN: Relieve the stress, Be happy!
* Believe there is Hope: Websites for Therapeutic Schools and Boot Camps
April, 2010 - http://www.legacyofhope.com/Apr_2010.htm
* ALCOHOL AWARENESS MONTH:
* Help Save a Friend's Life
* Socializing with Heavy Drinkers Increases Alcohol Consumption
* New Research Finds Link Between Drug Abuse and Obesity
* Healthcare Reform Law Gives Big Boost to Addiction Treatment and Prevention
May, 2010 - http://www.legacyofhope.com/May_2010.htm
* Colleges Confront Misuse of Prescription Drugs
* Awash in Synthetic Drugs
* Poisoning by Prescription Drugs on the Rise
* NIH Podcast Shines Light on Prescription Drug Abuse in Women
June, 2010 - http://www.legacyofhope.com/June_2010.htm
* Countries Agree to Fight the Harmful Use of Alcohol with Global Strategy
* Kerlikowske Says Drug War Has 'Not Been Successful' - What do you think?
* More Teens start Smoking Marijuana in June and July ---
* How Teens can Handle Feelings and Gossip - full article on Susie's Blog
* How One community Successfully and Significantly Reduced Youth Alcohol and Drug Abuse
*Is it TIME for Stress Management?
July, 2010 - http://www.legacyofhope.com/July_2010.htm
* Dentists May Be First to Detect Methamphetimine Use
* College Students Today are Less Empathetic Today
* Prescription Drug Use has Gone Sky High - DON'T NEGLECT PREVENTION
* Hooked on Hookah: More Carcinogenic than Cigarettes?
* Grant Money Available for Public-Health Conferences
* Excellent Information Resources You May Not Be Aware Of
* The Debate over Legalizing Marijuana is hot and heavy - New Information for to consider:
Article 1: Daily Marijuana Use Could Cause Permanent Brain Damage
Article 2: Should California Legalize Marijuana?
* Organizations Pushing Back Against Drugs
February, 2010 - http://www.legacyofhope.com/Feb_2010.htm
* One In Ten Jobless Young People Driven To Drugs Or Alcohol
* U.S. Teens VS European Teens on Alcohol, Tobacco Use
* WEBINAR FOR EDUCATORS: Drugs, Abuse, & At-Risk Students: Do's & Don'ts for Helping
Your Students
* One in Four Girls Aged 12-17 Involved in Serious Fights or Attacks in Past Year
* FREE ON-DEMAND WEBCAST - The Brain On Drugs
* Legacy of Hope® - Evidence-Based motivational school assemblies - Impact and Efficacy of
the program Evidence of the Efficacy of the LEGACY OF HOPE® Program
March, 2010 - http://www.legacyofhope.com/Mar_2010.htm
* Believe that PARENT influence is CRUCIAL - Curb alarming rise in use levels
* Believe you CAN: Get a Grant! LEGACY OF HOPE IS evidence-based
* Believe in Helping: Many U.S. Kids Have Addicted Parents
* Believe in Change: DSM-V to include Addictive Disease Classifications
* Believe you CAN: Relieve the stress, Be happy!
* Believe there is Hope: Websites for Therapeutic Schools and Boot Camps
April, 2010 - http://www.legacyofhope.com/Apr_2010.htm
* ALCOHOL AWARENESS MONTH:
* Help Save a Friend's Life
* Socializing with Heavy Drinkers Increases Alcohol Consumption
* New Research Finds Link Between Drug Abuse and Obesity
* Healthcare Reform Law Gives Big Boost to Addiction Treatment and Prevention
May, 2010 - http://www.legacyofhope.com/May_2010.htm
* Colleges Confront Misuse of Prescription Drugs
* Awash in Synthetic Drugs
* Poisoning by Prescription Drugs on the Rise
* NIH Podcast Shines Light on Prescription Drug Abuse in Women
June, 2010 - http://www.legacyofhope.com/June_2010.htm
* Countries Agree to Fight the Harmful Use of Alcohol with Global Strategy
* Kerlikowske Says Drug War Has 'Not Been Successful' - What do you think?
* More Teens start Smoking Marijuana in June and July ---
* How Teens can Handle Feelings and Gossip - full article on Susie's Blog
* How One community Successfully and Significantly Reduced Youth Alcohol and Drug Abuse
*Is it TIME for Stress Management?
July, 2010 - http://www.legacyofhope.com/July_2010.htm
* Dentists May Be First to Detect Methamphetimine Use
* College Students Today are Less Empathetic Today
* Prescription Drug Use has Gone Sky High - DON'T NEGLECT PREVENTION
* Hooked on Hookah: More Carcinogenic than Cigarettes?
August, 2009 News of Hope
August, 2009 - http://www.legacyofhope.com/Aug_2009.htm
* Harry Power Drunk! See what parents are saying . . .
* New Resource Shows Parents Where To Look For Drugs In Their Homes
* De-Stress for Success® System is HERE!
* Alcoholism Among Pre-Teens Often Unnoticed, Untreated - Alcohol and Drug Prevention for Teens is Critical
* Harry Power Drunk! See what parents are saying . . .
* New Resource Shows Parents Where To Look For Drugs In Their Homes
* De-Stress for Success® System is HERE!
* Alcoholism Among Pre-Teens Often Unnoticed, Untreated - Alcohol and Drug Prevention for Teens is Critical
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