Susie Vanderlip, CPAE, CSP - expert on youth and family issues

Get Out of Denial, America

2011-05-16T16:26:00.000-07:00

Have you ever heard a teenager talk about an alcoholic parent and the resultant chaos of their family life? Their self-blame? Their fears and how they fuel enormous amounts of anger, rage and driven to act out because it feels like nobody cares?

I have, in abundance; likely, over 20,000 such teenagers over the past 20 years. And yet, when I heard some teenagers share again this past weekend about the insanity of their parents who drink or react to the drinking spouse, of the verbal and physical abuse, the enormous amount of neglect, the depth of their grief and loss – it hit me in the heart and in the gut, just like it always does.

What’s up with a society that doesn’t acknowledge the emotional damage done to children of alcoholics and addicts? Where are the compassion, honesty and civilized discourse about the family impact of the disease of alcoholism and addiction – especially on the children and the desperate acting-out of teens?

American society is in a thick cloud of denial and ignorance fueled by corporate entities and gang-organizations that make millions if not billions promoting and selling alcohol, legal and illegal drugs to deal with the emotions and the stress in people’s lives. The profiteers do not want to reduce the dependence nor soothe the emotional wounds of the next generation. The more troubled and filled with pain and angst teens and young adults are, the greater consumer of mind-altering substances they become.

In this time of economic crisis, school funding for alcohol and drug abuse counselors is being axed, considered a luxury. Teens dependent on alcohol and drugs to cope with emotional trauma are not about to be academic achievers. And yet, addressing the emotional wounds and the misguided methods of coping are luxury items?

Sorry, but that’s not acceptable humanity in my world view. If youth are the most important resource on the planet as educators and administrators claim, then address their total needs, especially when the stats currently say that 1 in 4 children are living in a home where there is alcoholism or drug abuse. It is time to take alcoholism and drug addiction out of the closet of shame and into the discussion of active, committed prevention, intervention and treatment.

2011-01-31T10:18:00.000-08:00

Will Peer Pressure be TOO MUCH for YOUR Grandkids?
By Susie Vanderlip
Susie@legacyofhope.com
www.legacyofhope.com

The term ‘peer pressure’ is tossed about by adults like the dreaded plague.

“It was peer pressure that got my grandson to start smoking pot,” I’ve heard a grandparent say.

“It was the group of kids she hangs out with (peer pressure) that got my daughter into trouble as a teen. She had my granddaughter at 17; and now I see my granddaughter going down the same path. I worry about her,” another grandparent was overheard sharing at a bridge game.

What makes your grandkids succumb to ‘peer pressure’ to drink, do drugs, party with prescription drugs, have irresponsible sex and make other radically poor decisions?

Perhaps this definition of ‘peer pressure’ will help; and help YOU help your grandkids resist it.

Peer pressure is really a combination of two elements:
1. Peer Opportunity – This is when your grand-teen hangs around peers who are drink, smoke pot, use meth or other drugs, party with prescription drugs and/or are having sex – the opportunity to engage in these activities is around your beloved teen;

2. Emotional Vulnerability – This is when your grand-teen has chronic low self-esteem and emotional angst, unresolved hurt/loss/grief from family problems, is filled with significant self-loathing, etc.

Peer Opportunity alone is not enough to make a teen engage in drinking, drug use and sex. I’ve known many teens in my 19 years of working with and coaching 25,000 teens who may hang with teens doing harmful behaviors, but these teens never participate because their self-esteem is such that they wouldn’t want to put themselves in harms way – they feel they have a future and a right to a good future. Though all teens have angst and low self-esteem at times, these teens are not chronically Emotionally Vulnerable so they are internally empowered to say NO.

I’ve worked with many MORE teens, however, that have taken advantage of Peer Opportunity to engage in harmful behaviors because they think they are “losers,” so many feel unloved by one or both parents, so many have been verbally criticized by emotionally troubled parents, so many have felt outcast by parents who don’t pay enough attention to them or never offer positive feedback or encouragement.

The one thing you as a grandparent can do to help YOUR grand-teen resist Peer Opportunity is to recognize and address their EMOTIONAL VULNERABILITY.
Grandparents are in a unique position to get honest with grandkids of any age. In many cases, grandkids don’t feel as chastised or rejected by grandparents, rather, they feel safer. Grandparents are “old,” so grand-teens may feel they know more than their parents who control their lives in ways that seem so arbitrary to a teen.

It is critical that grandparents confront your own guilt over how your adult children turned out, even if they are addicts/alcoholics/divorcees/disappointments to you, and HELP YOUR GRANDKIDS deal with their emotional reactions to their parents. Be up front with grandkids, ask the scary and tough questions:

“Did your parents divorce really hurt you?”
“Do you feel like your mom doesn’t love you because she’s in jail for drug use?”
“Do you remember bad fights at home when you were little? Do you want to tell me about it?”
“Do you feel like you are a loser sometimes or that nobody should love you, honey?” “Do you need help figuring out how to feel OK about yourself?”
“Do you hate your dad because he’s not around and doesn’t call or see you?”
“Do you feel like all the problems at home are all YOUR fault?”

You may wonder, can I really ask my grand teen such pointed questions? ABSOLUTELY! Somebody in their lives has to or the emotional pain they have accumulated from family problems will be TOO MUCH for them to handle – and then Peer Opportunity looks like a way to cope.

Can you let it be OK for them to acknowledge hurt, loss, self-loathing, resentment and grief? Note that GRIEF is very common in teens as their brain matures and they remember highly painful childhood moments – a moment when Mom and Dad got physical in an argument; a moment when Dad or Mom first struck them; a moment when Dad was no longer present in the house and didn’t come by for a birthday or a soccer game; MOMENTS that linger with serious hurt and loss. Teens have NO idea how to process grief – most adults don’t either. That does NOT give us permission to deny it. Denial of grief and loss in our long lives hurts our relationships because we distance ourselves or feel shame or blame or resentment. And how many grandparents themselves turn to alcohol, pain killers or other drugs to cope with their own unresolved grief, loss, and self-loathing?

Now do you get it? Grand teens, even younger grandchildren, need to express the feelings that make them conclude that THEY are the problem; THEY are the untouchable/unlovable. Why NOT drink, do drugs or have irresponsible sex with peers when YOU DON’T MATTER ANYWAY?

BE BRAVE, dear grandparents! Ask the question and then BITE YOUR TONGUE when you want to tell your grandchild that their perception of a situation isn’t true or that you think their feelings are wrong! Please, don’t tell a grandchild that their feelings are wrong. Telling someone their feelings are wrong makes them feel guilty for natural emotional reactions. No one is WRONG for what they feel; feelings just happen! It’s what we do about our feelings that matters. Stay as non-judgmental as you can and just allow your grandchild to get his/her feelings – feelings that may have been pent up and hidden for a very long time or come out as rebellion, anger or depression.

If you make a grand-teen feel WRONG for having certain feelings, they will most likely feel angry and/or hurt, and may try to suppress the feelings you don’t like. Suppressing feelings is not easy or healthy for anyone to do; and that is why alcohol and drugs become very appealing. They are, unfortunately, effective emotional coping tools for a period of time – until the consequences of their use takes hold.

Instead, just do what is called MIRROR their feelings back to your grandchildren:
“It sounds like you hurt a lot, and I’m sorry because I love you.”
“It sounds like you are very angry at your Mom/Dad. I can understand how you feel.”

Then tell them you care about how they feel.

And do the next indicated thing; help them get the extra help they need. Help enable your grandchild to be able to see a counselor, therapist or psychologist – a professional well trained in helping youth express and resolve the feelings that make them Emotionally Vulnerable and susceptible to Peer Opportunity. Consider taking them and yourself to Al-Anon (www.al-anon.org) if your adult children’s drinking or drug use bothers your grandchild or you.

Human beings are emotionally sensitive beings and feelings are part of EVERY DECISION we make, whether we like to admit it or not. So, get strong and courageous and help your grandkids DEAL WITH FEELINGS, rather than hide, deny and suppress. Then, you will significantly help your grandkids resist Peer Pressure.

How to Handle Feelings and Gossip

2010-06-03T11:43:00.000-07:00

Wisdom comes in many forms, but EMOTIONAL WISDOM™ is perhaps the most important when it comes to your family, friends and even yourself.

EMOTIONAL WISDOM™ is about seeing that we are all alike on the inside. On the outside, we look different, act different; have different cultural habits, ethnicity, different color hair, eyes, and skin. But on the inside, we all have the capacity to feel loved, wanted and belong. We also all have the capacity to feel lonely, unwanted and alone.

We become emotionally wise when we realize that we can either help ourselves and others feel like they belong and are valued or make ourselves and others feel like losers, unwanted and alone.

Our emotions affect all of our decisions. When we feel unloved and alone, it can be extremely painful. Feeling like we don’t fit in can also fell like we are worthless, not good enough to be liked or loved. These feelings drive many teens, as well as adults, to want to escape the pain. Teens and adults often turn to alcohol, drugs (prescription and/or illegal), self-harm, bullying of others, overeating, and irresponsible sex to escape lonely and other uncomfortable feelings. Humans need love to thrive; no one copes well when they feel unlovable.

Understanding and developing EMOTIONAL WISDOM™ is very helpful. By 7th and 8th grade, teens experience gossip in abundance! When others gossip about us, we no longer feel loved or like we fit in. We no longer feel safe opening up honestly with others. Soon, we may find ourselves gossiping about others as well because when we feel unwanted, unlovable or alone, gossiping takes the attention off of our own feelings for awhile. We may feel better at first when we put others down, but it actually can add more uncomfortable feelings like shame, embarrassment, bitterness, resentment and more.

Here is a simple way to develop the EMOTIONAL WISDOM™ that helps to deal with uncomfortable feelings:

1. Notice when you first feel uncomfortable feelings.
When you start to feel unloved, unwanted, and alone, or that you don’t fit in or aren’t good enough – HALT!
Take the time to ask yourself: What happened that brought on these feelings? Did a parent criticize me before leaving the house? Did someone ignore or snub me when I got to school? Did a teacher scold or give me a nasty look?

2. Rethink the situation and do three things:
A. Think to yourself:
Just because someone criticizes me, doesn’t make it true nor make me a loser.

B. Ask Yourself::
Were they having a bad day? Do they feel lousy about themselves?
Is it REALLY about me or more about them?

C. Be honest with yourself:
Is there some truth to what they said? Was I cold or rude or thoughtless? Do I owe an apology? How can I do better next time?

3. Talk it out with a trustworthy adult.
Find an adult who has EMOTIONAL WISDOM™, someone who understands feelings and doesn’t make fun of others. Ask them to be your “Encourager” – the person you can easily talk to about situations when you are having uncomfortable feelings.

How do you know if they have EMOTIONAL WISDOM™? Emotionally-wise adults are patient; they don’t criticize or scold; they don’t put you down for how you feel or think; they encourage your dreams and goals; and they listen when you talk about feelings including when you feel down, depressed, rejected, hurt, etc. They don’t make you feel “wrong” for being YOU.
Remember: You are not bad no matter what you feel. It is what you do with your feelings that matters.

4. Set a Personal Policy – Resist gossiping about others
Unless it is GOOD GOSSIP where you have something positive to say about
another person, resist saying the negative.

When we talk over feelings with a trustworthy adult, the urge to gossip about
others diminishes. We develop empathy – the ability to understand that other
people, adults as well as teens, can be motivated to gossip because they don’t feel
good about themselves; they may be feeling lonely, unlovable and alone. They
may be full of anger because of rejection. That doesn’t make it right to gossip or
be mean to others, but it can help us not take their words or actions personally or
be so hurt by them.

We can see that taking our uncomfortable and angry feelings out on others, by
gossiping, criticizing, or snubbing others, doesn’t fix the feelings. It only hurts
them and leaves us with more low self-esteem.

Set a personal policy:
I will deal with uncomfortable feelings in a healthy way. I will not gossip.
I will talk about my feelings with a trustworthy adult.

In this way, you will develop EMOTIONAL WISDOM™.
You will help yourself feel more comfortable with yourself and others.
You can be Proud of Yourself!

BIO ON SUSIE VANDERLIP

Dancer, actor, speaker and author, Susie is an internationally-renown theatrical speaker and expert on teens, families, stress management, and prevention of underage drinking, drug use, teen pregnancy, gangs, bullying, and more. She has toured her one-woman show LEGACY OF HOPE® to over one million youth and adults worldwide at schools, communities, churches and conferences. Check her out at www.legacyofhope.com. Follow her on Facebook and Twitter!
800-707-1977 * 2942 E. Chapman Ave #112, Orange, CA 92869

New Survey Again Raises Alarm About Teen Drug Use, Attitudes

2010-03-03T14:37:00.000-08:00

March 3, 2010

From Join Together:
News Feature
By Bob Curley

A new report finds that more kids say they are using alcohol and other drugs, but many parents are unable or unwilling to deal with the issue -- a bad combination when declining support for prevention and cultural apathy about the issue leave parents as the last and sometimes only line of defense against adolescent drug use.

The 2009 Partnership Attitude Tracking Study (PATS), released March 2 by the Partnership for a Drug-Free America (PDFA) and MetLife Foundation, reported rather dramatic year-over-year spikes in past-month alcohol use (up 11 percent) and past-year use of marijuana (up 19 percent) and ecstasy (up 67 percent) among U.S. students in grades 9-12.
PDFA chairman and CEO Steve Pasierb noted that all three are "social drugs," and the survey of more than 3,200 students, conducted by Roper Public Affairs, found "a growing belief in the benefits and acceptability of drug use and drinking." For example, the percentage of teens agreeing that "being high feels good" increased from 45 percent in 2008 to 51 percent in 2009, and those who said "friends usually get high at parties" increased from 69 percent to 75 percent. Thirty percent of students surveyed strongly agreed that they "don't want to hang around drug users," down from 35 percent in 2008.

"The resurgence in teen drug and alcohol use comes at a time when pro-drug cues in popular culture – in film, television and online – abound, and when funding for federal prevention programs has been declining for several years," according to a PDFA press release on the survey.

The reported spike in alcohol and other drug use and attitudinal shifts are startling enough to warrant skepticism about the validity of the findings. However, Pasierb notes that the PATS survey has been conducted using the same methodology for the past 21 years. The most recent Monitoring the Future survey, released in December, also found that use of illicit drugs has leveled off or increased after years of steady declines, and that youth attitudes about drug use appear to be softening. The 2009 PRIDE Survey of 6th- to 9th-graders reported small increases in current drug use, as well.

The PATS survey found that kids are almost as likely to get information on drugs from the Internet and websites like Youtube as from their parents, school, or media ads. "The preponderance of information that kids get online about drugs is pro-use, and to teens it's more credible," Pasierb told Join Together.

Perhaps the most surprising survey result is the reported increase in use of ecstasy -- a drug that, unlike alcohol and marijuana, has seemed to largely disappear from public consciousness since the mid-2000s. If the survey results are to be believed, more teens are now using ecstasy on a monthly (6 percent) or annual (10 percent) basis than at any point since 2004, and reported lifetime use is higher than ever reported since 1998.

Pasierb said that federal data shows that availability of ecstasy has not declined since 2001-02, and that prices for the drug have fallen. "There was just more news coverage then," he said.
"I don't buy the argument that drug use is cyclical," said Pasierb. "I think it's generational, and based on what we talk to our kids about." Drug-use trends among youth are "very malleable," he added, and what is considered cool or popular can change rapidly from the time a kid enters high school to when they graduate.

Parents Waging a Lonely Battle -- Or Not
About 20 percent of the parents surveyed by PATS believed that their children had gone beyond the experimental phase in use of alcohol or other drugs. However, almost half of these parents either did not take any action (25 percent) or waited for between a month and a year to address the perceived problem (22 percent).

Parents of children engaging in non-experimental drug use were less confident in their ability to influence their kids' drug-use decisions, according to the survey, and were more likely to believe that all teens will experiment with drugs and that occasional use of alcohol or marijuana is tolerable.

"Parents with drug-using kids have never been served by our field," said Pasierb. "They're the outliers, and they should be the focus." PDFA has developed a program called Time to Act that is designed to improve parental knowledge about teen alcohol and other drug use, set rules and boundaries, intervene when necessary, and seek outside help when needed.
"Government prevention programs have all been defunded, and society is not on our side. It's all on the parents now," said Pasierb. "Parents are convinced that their kids are getting all this (drug prevention) in school, and it's just not true. The doctor, school, or football coach is not going to step in."

COMMENTS ON THIS ARTICLE:
Posted by Dan Iser on 03 Mar 10 11:10 AM EST
It would appear that the "cultural apathy" has also filtered into the decisionmaking process that our congressional leaders utilize to determine funding for prevention. Most recently they voted to eliminate the state grants portion of the federal safe and drug-free schools program. This program provided nearly $300 million in funds to all school districts across our nation. Congress eliminated this valuable program because the amount that the average school district received was not enough to make a real difference in prevention substance abuse and violence. Many school-community anti-drug coalitions will be devasted by this action once the flow of funding stops during the 2010-2011 school year. Isn't it about time that we adopted a lesson learned by the tobacco lawyers. We need to sue someone and even perhaps the federal government itself. In realitity it was the Supreme Court that reversed prohibition that allowed the free flow of alcohol across our nation. And isn't it the responsibility of our legal and judicial system at the federal level to stop the passage of heroin and other illegal substances from coming across our borders. How often do you hear that federal agents have been monitoring the flow of illegal drugs from Mexico, South America, etc., and then from one state to another, and finally to the street corner of our communities. This process takes months and even years in order to "build a solid case". In the meantime, more of our children and young adults continue to make purchases and are well on their way to becoming full blow addicts.

Posted by Susie Vanderlip on 03 Mar 10 11:54 AM EST
This article confirms what I'm seeing especially over the last 6 months as a significant decrease in school and societal acknowledgement of the alcohol and drug use and abuse problem among teens. I am a prevention and healthy choices speakers to teens in middle and high schools and the interest in assemblies addressing these issues has severely declined in recent months. Yes, school budgets are struggling, but even Obama's state of the union address did not mention the alcohol/drug issue, and funding has been cut to Safe and Drug Free Schools. Add to that the push to legalize marijuana and apparent message to teens that pot is "safe and everybody's doing it," we are creating the perfect storm for an epidemic alcohol and drug problem in the current generation of youth and into their adult/family futures.

Posted by Susie Vanderlip on 03 Mar 10 01:53 PM EST
Diane asked, "The other reason people use is what?" The answer from my experience is to cope with/avoid feelings. Thousands of conversations with using teens after school assemblies and via email has made it abundantly clear to me that many use to cope with feelings they do not have a clue about what to do with: grief, loss, self-loathing, abandonment, verbal abuse wounds, hopelessness plus PTSD and persistent anxiety from the influence of domestic violence throughout childhood and more. I recommend we focus on developing healthy emotional coping skills in youth - call it stress management if you must - but deal with some of the underlying emotional issues.

check out more comments at:
http://www.jointogether.org/news/features/2010/new-survey-again-raises-alarm.html

INDEX BY TOPIC TO ALL "News of Hope" Newsletters!

2010-03-01T12:23:00.000-08:00

Wide variety of topics covered since 1999 to present!
Check out topics ranging Ato Z on youth and family issues.
Current research and findings on underage drinking, alcohol and drug prevention for teens,
teen texting issues, teen violence, teen pregnancy, stress management for teens and adults, school assemblies, brain development around alcohol and drug abuse, teen date rape, college drinking patterns and concerns, and on and on!

http://www.legacyofhope.com/newsletter_articles_INDEX.htm

2010 News of Hope Newsletter

2010-03-01T12:18:00.000-08:00

January, 2010 - http://www.legacyofhope.com/Jan_2010.htm
* Grant Money Available for Public-Health Conferences
* Excellent Information Resources You May Not Be Aware Of
* The Debate over Legalizing Marijuana is hot and heavy - New Information for to consider:
Article 1: Daily Marijuana Use Could Cause Permanent Brain Damage
Article 2: Should California Legalize Marijuana?
* Organizations Pushing Back Against Drugs

February, 2010 - http://www.legacyofhope.com/Feb_2010.htm
* One In Ten Jobless Young People Driven To Drugs Or Alcohol
* U.S. Teens VS European Teens on Alcohol, Tobacco Use
* WEBINAR FOR EDUCATORS: Drugs, Abuse, & At-Risk Students: Do's & Don'ts for Helping
Your Students
* One in Four Girls Aged 12-17 Involved in Serious Fights or Attacks in Past Year
* FREE ON-DEMAND WEBCAST - The Brain On Drugs
* Legacy of Hope® - Evidence-Based motivational school assemblies - Impact and Efficacy of
the program Evidence of the Efficacy of the LEGACY OF HOPE® Program

March, 2010 - http://www.legacyofhope.com/Mar_2010.htm
* Believe that PARENT influence is CRUCIAL - Curb alarming rise in use levels
* Believe you CAN: Get a Grant! LEGACY OF HOPE IS evidence-based
* Believe in Helping: Many U.S. Kids Have Addicted Parents
* Believe in Change: DSM-V to include Addictive Disease Classifications
* Believe you CAN: Relieve the stress, Be happy!
* Believe there is Hope: Websites for Therapeutic Schools and Boot Camps

April, 2010 - http://www.legacyofhope.com/Apr_2010.htm
* ALCOHOL AWARENESS MONTH:
* Help Save a Friend's Life
* Socializing with Heavy Drinkers Increases Alcohol Consumption
* New Research Finds Link Between Drug Abuse and Obesity
* Healthcare Reform Law Gives Big Boost to Addiction Treatment and Prevention

May, 2010 - http://www.legacyofhope.com/May_2010.htm
* Colleges Confront Misuse of Prescription Drugs
* Awash in Synthetic Drugs
* Poisoning by Prescription Drugs on the Rise
* NIH Podcast Shines Light on Prescription Drug Abuse in Women

June, 2010 - http://www.legacyofhope.com/June_2010.htm
* Countries Agree to Fight the Harmful Use of Alcohol with Global Strategy
* Kerlikowske Says Drug War Has 'Not Been Successful' - What do you think?
* More Teens start Smoking Marijuana in June and July ---
* How Teens can Handle Feelings and Gossip - full article on Susie's Blog
* How One community Successfully and Significantly Reduced Youth Alcohol and Drug Abuse
*Is it TIME for Stress Management?

July, 2010 - http://www.legacyofhope.com/July_2010.htm
* Dentists May Be First to Detect Methamphetimine Use
* College Students Today are Less Empathetic Today
* Prescription Drug Use has Gone Sky High - DON'T NEGLECT PREVENTION
* Hooked on Hookah: More Carcinogenic than Cigarettes?

August, 2009 News of Hope

2010-03-01T12:03:00.000-08:00

August, 2009 - http://www.legacyofhope.com/Aug_2009.htm
* Harry Power Drunk! See what parents are saying . . .
* New Resource Shows Parents Where To Look For Drugs In Their Homes
* De-Stress for Success® System is HERE!
* Alcoholism Among Pre-Teens Often Unnoticed, Untreated - Alcohol and Drug Prevention for Teens is Critical

1,000 kids kids become new, regular smokers every day? NEW HOPE TO STEM THE ADDICTION

2009-06-13T17:23:00.000-07:00

Kudo's to the US Senate for passing new legislation on June 11, 2009 that will for the first time allow the FDA to strongly regulate cigarettes and other tobacco products.

According to Nancy Nielsen, M.D., American Medical Association (AMA) President,
“More than 400,000 Americans die needlessly every year as a direct result of tobacco use. The actions resulting from this landmark legislation may make people think twice before picking up a cigarette. The sad truth is that tobacco-related deaths are the number one preventable cause of death in the U.S. "

"Approximately 1,000 kids become new, regular smokers every day. These new marketing restrictions can help keep our kids away from cigarettes so they can become healthy adults.”

How HOPEFUL that the federal government and President Obama are willing to take hard stands against the expensive costs of nicotine addiction and the needless loss of human lives.
Let's face it, if we had 400,000 war-related deaths each year, it would be considered ultimate tragedy and insanity. Why should we as a society be any less appalled by the vast number of illnesses, diseases and death from cigarettes? It's all in the "marketing." Tobacco companies have sold our youth and society with commercials, billboards and packaging that make cigarettes look glamorous, relaxing, calming, empowering -- and, at long last, there will be some powerful regulation to reduce the attraction and availability - especially to youth.

Thousands of teens have been startled when told during my LEGACY OF HOPE® assemblies that the primary cause of male impotence by 40 yrs of age is ... cigarettes. Put that in your pipe and smoke it! Teen males squirm, and teen girls giggle - none the less, it makes it clear that cigarettes are a poison to the human body and have the power to take untold pleasures of life away!

“Family Smoking Prevention and Tobacco Control Act” - very good act to follow!

2009 Newsletters

2009-02-24T17:25:00.001-08:00

November, 2009 - http://www.legacyofhope.com/Nov_2009.htm
* Helping Your Preteen Cope with Feeling Left Out
* Alcohol the Real Date-Rape Drug, Study Says
* TEXT SPEAK - Affecting Teen Communication Skills
* Celebrating Fall Colors with You!

October, 2009 - http://www.legacyofhope.com/Oct_2009.htm
* 2009 National School Survey Finds Small but Significant Increases in
* Adolescent Alcohol, Tobacco, Drug Use
* Mothers Against Drunk Drivers Creates new line of Nonalcoholic Virgin Drinks
* Should Drugs Be Legalized? Many Critical of Drug War...
* New Help for Parents to Raise Drug-Free Kids
* Teenage Parties - Parent Guide

September, 2009 - http://www.legacyofhope.com/Sept_2009.htm
* Most People Overestimate Their Self-Control.
* One in Five Teens Share Their Prescription Drugs with Friends.
* American Psychological Association (APA) says WE ARE STRESSED.
* Mental Health and Help for Children.
* JOIN Susie on FACEBOOK.
* Teens say: It's not about Drinking... It's about Getting DRUNK
* LEGACY OF HOPE® - School Assembly Program

August, 2009 - http://www.legacyofhope.com/August_2009.htm
Harry Power Drunk! See what parents are saying . . .
* New Resource Shows Parents Where To Look For Drugs In Their Homes
* De-Stress for Success® System is HERE!
* Alcoholism Among Pre-Teens Often Unnoticed, Untreated

June, 2009 - http://www.legacyofhope.com/June_2009.htm
* KEEP YOUTH SAFE DURING PROM AND GRAD SEASON
* TEEN TALK - Great new website on Teen Pregnancy for Teens and Parents
* PROMOTE PREVENTION - How you can Help
* JOIN Susie on FACEBOOK - for fun and for free!

May, 2009 - http://www.legacyofhope.com/May_2009.htm
* GET TESTED FOR STD'S
* THC IN MARIJUANA Tops 10 Percent
* HELP NOW! SAVE "Safe and Drug Free Schools and Communities" Funding *
* JOIN Susie on FACEBOOK!

April, 2009 - http://www.legacyofhope.com/April_2009.htm
* Test to see if Your Drinking is Risky!
* GIRLS LIFE Magazine - Pharmaceutical Drug Abuse by Teens
* Deal with Teen STRESS!
* Mental health and Substance Abuse During Tough Times

March, 2009 - http://www.legacyofhope.com/Mar_2009.htm
* Pot Linked to Testicular Cancer
* Liquor Ads Return to Prime Time
* Teens and Adults Choose Same Brand of Cigarettes
* New Drug Czar - Gil Kerlikowske

February, 2009 - http://www.legacyofhope.com/feb_2009.htm
* EMPLOYERS: About young adult employee alcohol and substance abuse
* PARENTS: Ritalin Causes Brain Changes Similar to Cocaine
* PHYSICIANS: 1.7 Million Emergency Room Visits are Drug Related
* SCHOOLS: Heads Up on a Great Alcohol and Drug Awareness Resource
* COLLEGE STUDENTS: Speak Up on the drinking age 18 or 21
* COLLEGE STUDENTS: What Research Says about lowering the drinking age to 18

January, 2009 - http://www.legacyofhope.com/Jan_2009.htm
* Trend 2009: Video Game and Internet Addiction
* Trend 2009: Heard of i-doser.com??
* Trend 2009: Address the Stress: Workbook and Workshop from LEGACY
* Trend 2009: WEIGHT UP in College: Beware the FRESHMAN 15!

2008 Newsletters

2009-02-24T17:01:00.000-08:00

November, 2008 http://www.legacyofhope.com/Nov_2008.htm
• Alcohol Use Among Hispanic Youth
• The Choking Game - New Deadly High
• Steroid Use and How to Test Your Kids
• Parents' Alcoholism - One Teen's Story (from Al-Anon/Alateen)

October, 2008 http://www.legacyofhope.com/Oct_2008.htm
• Alcohol Pouches Appeal to Teens
• Energy Drinks linked to Teenage Risky Behavior
• Negative Childhood Experiences Precipitate Earlier Drinking
• Prescription Drug Use on the Rise – A National Concern
• Mouthwash to Get High

September, 2008 http://www.legacyofhope.com/Sept_2008.htm
• How Clothing Fits in Adolescence
• Teens and Stress: What 93% of Parents Do NOT Know
• ANNOUNCING NEW STRESS MANAGEMENT WORKBOOK from LEGACY!

August, 2008 http://www.legacyofhope.com/Aug_2008.htm
• Hip Hop Culture: More than Meets the Eye
• Hipster Subculture: Cooler than the Cool Kids?
• Nerd Revolution
• Jock Image - Rethinking
• Mom’s are Cliquing, too?

June/July, 2008 http://www.legacyofhope.com/July_2008.htm
• Childhood Obesity: How America's Children Packed on the Pounds
• Help My Overweight Child
• Body Image: Men and Boys Lack Treatment Options
• Young Girls and Body Image: When Mothers Stop Being Role Models
• A Toolkit for Healthy Girls and Strong Women

May, 2008 http://www.legacyofhope.com/May_2008.htm
• Observations from the Road - Susie Vanderlip
• Current Drug Trends in America's Youth
• Parenting/Grandparenting Tools
• Girls Most Frequent Abuser of Prescription Drugs
• Prevent Prescription Medicine Abuse
• Help School Nurses Address Rx Abuse
• Group Therapy Works for Youngest Addicts/Teens

April, 2008 http://www.legacyofhope.com/April_2008.htm
• 21 Minimum Drinking Age Effectiveness
• Alcohol Ed and Drivers Ed Together
• Parents Driving Drunk with Children in Car
• Training for Alcohol Servers

March, 2008 http://www.legacyofhope.com/Mar_2008.htm
• Technology and Its Impact on How Teens are Communicating
• Internet Addiction Among Teens
• Put Their Phones Down?
• About Myspace! for Parents
• Internet Safety Tips for You and Your Kids

February, 2008 http://www.legacyofhope.com/feb_2008.htm
• What is Anxiety?
• Anxiety Disorders
• Worry Sucks the Life out of Teens: Commentary by Susie Vanderlip
• Teens Worry About...
• Relieving Your Teen's Worries

January, 2008 http://www.legacyofhope.com/January_2008.htm
• Definition of Gossip
• Relational Aggression
• Queen Bees: Girls as Gossip Ringleaders
• Men vs. Women- Gossip Findings
• Defending Ourselves Against Gossip
• Gossip in the Workplace

WORRY is sucking the Life out of our Kids

2008-02-09T16:27:00.000-08:00

Following my school assemblies, I stay on school campuses, as many of you know, for hours upon hours meeting with individual teens and groups of teens from two to fifty who often desperately want to get things off their chest. I talk to some 5,000 teens every year in grades 6 thru 12 each year in states all across the US and from every economic and cultural background to be found in our vastly diverse country. Needless to say, I get a snapshot of what is happening in the minds and hearts of our teens that I feel extraordinarily privileged to experience and equally responsible for sharing with any other adult who cares about our national treasure - our youth.

And across this diverse collection of disclosures I see two undeniable patterns in teen thinking. 1. Many, way too many, are plagued by deep sadness/grief/PTSD and 2. They worry.

When I ask teens if they worry, 99% of teens say they worry. Do they learn to worry from their parents? Many admit that their parents worry “a LOT”, and that they as teens have learned that “worrying” is what you do to manage in life. Many parents do worry a lot. And what IS worry? “Worry” is fear over something we imagine/anticipate/expect will happen in the future. What do we hope to accomplish by worrying? Perhaps it is a way of trying to protect ourselves from overwhelming emotional pain if what we fear actually happens. If we anticipate something bad happening and then worry about it, maybe it will somehow provide some method of avoiding the bad thing happening.

The funny thing is, worry in and of itself does nothing to control our future, it just steals our focus and our energy from today! We impact the future by making TODAY as good as possible – focusing our analytical skills and our energy and our efforts to making today’s activities and responsibilities as positive and successful as we can. THAT is what prepares us to handle “come what may” – because the future is truly only in the hands of forces beyond our control – for me, I like to call that God.

If teens live in a family where a spiritual approach to life is not present, then worry becomes the method of fear management. When disappointments, chaos, confusion or tragedy strike, it is difficult to make any sense of them without a belief in a Higher Power/God. It is difficult to believe there is any rhyme or reason or hope of things getting better. So, teens – parents – people WORRY.

Many teens worry because of their parents and their parents’ behaviors. I know because
thousands upon thousands of teens share with me about parents with drinking problems and the resulting chaos, unpredictability, verbal/physical/sexual abuses, and unrelenting anger they witness in their homes. Parental alcoholism often generates fierce arguments, incessant criticisms and degradation, severe financial stress and divorce within a family. All this chaos teaches the children/teens to “worry” incessantly. What will they come home to after school today? Will they be blamed for everything that happens in the household tonight? Will Dad beat up Mom again after downing his couple six packs this evening? Will Dad run around the house with a shotgun threatening the whole family when he’s loaded by midnight? Worry is often the only thing a teen knows to do to keep a grip in an unsafe insanity they have to call home. I worried, too, when I lived with an alcoholic/drug addicted husband – at least until I found help and hope in support groups for the families of alcoholics.

And then there are the high-achievers and teens from middle to upper middle class families who are in the highest level of competition with their peers for grades, AP classes, and entrance into the better universities. These teens worry extensively, too, only in their case, about meeting the expectations of their parents and the high expectations they have of themselves. They live in a highly stressful world as well where the “fear of not being loved” is usually described as a fear of failure – of not making the grade in the higher echelons of life.

Many young people learn to worry because of past pain they want to avoid in the future – usually the pain of feeling like a failure and, beneath that, the fear of not being lovable – and, in its final form, the fear of not receiving love and acceptance.

It’s easy to see how children from abusive homes can feel unloved and, though perhaps less recognized, how children from high achieving families feel unloved if they don’t perform to expectations.

Curing “worry” is a matter of healing for many teens. Healing the past traumas that linger as vivid DVD movie images in the minds of teens and that do not degrade or diminish in emotional intensity over time. Preteens through teens regularly describe to me in acute detail the memories of traumas from yesterday, or one, three, five, even 8 years ago that happened in their homes. How does a child stop “worrying” when they have post traumatic stress (PTSD)? That is what many will carry with them for a lifetime without help from therapy, support groups, self-help groups, etc.

Other teens can be helped if adults who understand the number one fear of teens – the fear of one or both parents not loving them – and who give teens a helping perspective. The behaviors of their parents are not a child’s fault! The choices of a parent are not a teen’s fault. The drinking, drug use, and abuse of a parent are not the children’s fault.
And that their parent may be sick with addiction and/or unknowingly acting out the unhealed traumas of their own childhood.

Teens from high-achievement oriented homes can be helped by parents showing their teens that they love them no matter what. By helping their teens see that there is no outcome that will keep them from loving their children. I encourage parents to reassess their expectations of their children and beware of placing their own fear of failure on the backs of their teens. See each child as an individual with special traits, skills and lovability, whether they fulfill YOUR dreams for them or not. Be an encourager, a boundary setter, a storyteller, a hugger, a helper, a dream builder, a coach - but not a
judge and jury that labels a teen “a loser,” “a slacker,” a “disappointment,” “an unworthy B----,” or many of the other unspeakable categorizations that, sadly, too many teens have heard from parents. And it is acutely clear to me that once said to a child, children/teens remember these labels for LIFE if amends and apologies are not made immediately by parents. The brain of a developing child/teen is like a sponge. And whatever a parent fills it with is absorbed, becoming a prominent part of the internal chatter of that child for life.

“Worry” sounds so innocuous but it is often symptomatic of much more emotional need in a teen than most adults may ever imagine. So, treat it as an indicator that a teen may need more compassion, patience, kindness and time with you, their parent. Teens are still quite literal. They need to hear the words, “I love you no matter what.” They need to receive hugs for their effort regardless of the result. They need to receive encouragement even as they fail to score. They also may need therapy, conversations with a social worker or school counselor, participation in support groups for such things as children of alcoholics/violence or anger management, and opportunities to find their interests, skills and new goals.

Lastly, encourage spiritual pursuits. Encourage a quiet time, a quiet mind. Encourage acts of kindness and gratitude lists. Encourage journaling and getting the emotions out on paper. And encourage prayer – even when they feel their God has forgotten them or thinks they aren’t as important or loved by God. Keep YOUR mustard seed of faith and pass it along to your kids.

New Editorial - Male Body Image Issues

2007-11-05T14:58:00.000-08:00

This week, Legacy's intern is back with an article about Male Body Image issues, and how they are more than what they may seem.

Male Body Image - By Steve Taylor, November 5, 2007

You can read the article directly above, and you may also visit the editorials page at http://legacyofhope.com/Editorials.htm.

College Student Speaks Out - "Foibles of Teen Life Today"

2007-09-26T13:43:00.000-07:00

LEGACY is proud of the university interns we have employed over the last 12 years. Not only do they keep us on the cutting edge of real life in the fast lane of adolescence and young adult living, but they are in sync with what's really going on with today.

We begin our NEW Editorial Page with unique and interesting perspectives from our 2007-2008 intern, Steve Taylor, Chapman University student and Business Major:

Steroids for Students: How ADD medication is changing study habits - By Steve Taylor, September 25, 2007

The Travesty of Technology: Because texting is so much easier than talking - By Steve Taylor, September 23, 2007

You can read all the latest articles by visiting http://legacyofhope.com/Editorials.htm, and we welcome your comments and remarks below!

Burnt Out, Stressed Out, and Pilled Up!

2007-09-12T14:20:00.000-07:00

Everywhere I turn this new school year, school counselors, teachers, parents and teens are telling me they’re OVERWHELMED, feeling depressed, spewing inappropriate anger and rage, and dissatisfied with their lives. It’s STRESS –a world of excessive - I mean EXCESSIVE – Expectations… High-achievers have parents breathing down their necks for every mistake and imperfection.

“You won’t get into the top colleges if you aren’t at the top of your class!” exhort pushing parents.

“You’ll be handling the Jr’s and Sr’s this semester including scheduling, college applications, and 10 other essential administrative activities,” declare administrators to counselors who work hours of unpaid overtime to listen to teen problems because no time is available during the school day.

“Now, don’t stress-out in my class,” a teacher kindly chides her students, then assigns two-hours of homework every night, drops a daily spot quiz on them and 5 major exams throughout the semester.

And then there are the incessant text messages from friends that have to be responded to as well as the required 3 extra-curricular activities and volunteer hours each week in order to be competitive on college applications.

Too many expectations with no room to make mistakes, to try and to fail and to try again, to know we are loved not because of what we DO but because we ARE.

We are not Human Doings, my friends, we are Human Beings! We don’t have to be perfect – we don’t have to get into the best university – to be loved! We might actually be HAPPY and find fulfillment from our losses and our imperfections – from going to a second tier college with less stress and more personal attention and personal growth.

I had a call just this week from a school counselor who was at her wits end, stressed to the extreme, because the students at her magnet Advanced Placement high school were too stressed, and cheating. She wanted stress management education for her students, and then she determined maybe better for the teachers and let them disseminate the information. Good call.

What was of greatest concern to me was that the school absolutely did NOT want to have the focus of stress management on alcohol and drug use or sexuality or violence because, well, this was about “STRESS MANAGEMENT”. I have no problem providing stress management training for the body, the mind and the spirit – finding life balance within self-awareness, self-care, and self-nurturance in all these areas. That is my and my husband’s area of expertise. However, how can we look at stress management without looking at how we cope with pressure and emotions in our lives? And how many parents, from low-education/low-income to highest achieving, model chemical coping – alcohol, painkillers, pot, cocaine, methamphetamines, valium, Vicodan, Oxycontin and more to manage the fears and failures of normal every day living?

Stress is the great catalyst to choice! Because STRESS is the 6-letter cover-up for so many uncomfortable feelings including a great fear of failure, fear of inadequacy, and fear of not being loved.

I’ll be exploring this perspective in greater detail this year and including CHOICES that are critical to our sense of well-being, fulfillment and joy in life.

All achievement and no play makes for a depressed teen/adult!

Check out my FOX NEWS LIVE INTERVIEW!

2007-08-02T18:03:00.000-07:00

June 22, 2007 - FOX NEWS LIVE interviewed me as a youth and family issues expert regarding a 16 yr-old girl marrying her 40-yr-old track coach --- Whoa, let's think about this one! Not what every parent dreams of for their daughter's future, I am sure!
What do you think of that?

http://www.legacyofhope.com/RealMedia/Fox%20News%20Live%20Clip/Fox%20News%20Live%206-22-07%20SV%20Interview.wmv

Sharing my good news!

2007-08-02T17:52:00.000-07:00

I am thrilled to share with my fans, family and friends about receiving the National Speakers Association CPAE Award and being inducted into the Speaker Hall of Fame!
What a fantastic evening it was! As always, "Julio" - my gangbanger character - came out first to try to claim the prize, and then "he" stripped down to reveal me in my elegant white gown!

Admission into the CPAE Speaker Hall of Fame is a lifetime award for speaking excellence and professionalism. Inductees are evaluated by their peers through a rigorous and demanding process. Each candidate must excel in seven categories: material, style, experience, delivery, image, professionalism and communication.

AWESOME!

Q&A with Susie: Teens feelings about Parent's Divorce

2007-06-07T19:00:00.000-07:00

Dear Ms. Susie,

I just wanted to thank you for your presentation this morning at my High School. The characters you portrayed were very close to home for me and it touched my heart. It was really nice having you present today and understand what most of us teens go through in our everyday life.

I too, have the emotion of feeling neglected and unloved. My parents divorced when I was in elementary school and I still, to this day, remember every single thing that happened during the time when my parents were in the process of getting a divorce. Every now and then I still cry because my dad doesn't care about me and he has a new wife that doesn't want him to see me. I sometimes feel that it’s my fault that my parents got a divorce. Sometimes I even feel that I was just a mistake. I just wanted to thank you for understanding and I also wanted to say how I can relate to many of the characters. I come from a broken family; it's nice to know someone like you understands.

Sincerely,

Grateful Teen
__________________________________________

Hello Grateful!

THANK YOU for emailing and sharing about your life.
I know how it feels to think things are your fault and that somehow you are responsible for the lack of love from others in your life. Truth is, you did not cause your parents to divorce, nor for your father to neglect you. None of us are a "mistake" in God's world. He wanted us to be born, no matter WHAT craziness our parents may be going through! And having parents that don't seem to care enough is very common because many parents are NOT mature and emotionally intelligent. They are still angry, self-centered kids inside, thinking life is all about THEM! Especially if either of them drinks heavily or does any drugs. Then they are SURE to neglect their kids because alcohol and drugs damage the brains ability to be mature, responsible and able to love.

I think it is important to decide if you want to feel like a "victim" and always the loser or not. It's not easy letting go of thinking we're not good enough. It's even a safe belief to have because then when anything goes wrong, we can always just feel like it is our fault and not have to care or try to make life better! HOWEVER, there are so many LOVING people in the world, who are compassionate, patient, kind and giving. The key is where to find them. You don't find them at parties typically. Usually in places where people are helping other people, involved in service, spiritual endeavors, positive people. At any rate, I encourage you to keep your eyes open for people who DO accept you just the way you are and are RELIABLE in their friendship. Just because parents are not, does not mean you are not lovable and deserve respect and reliable caring from others!

I will keep you in my prayers!
Susie Vanderlip

Q&A with Susie: Teen thinking about joining a gang

2007-06-07T18:53:00.000-07:00

Dear Mrs. Vanderlip,

I think that the legacy of hope has taught me a lot about peer pressure. I
think you have probably raised the hearts of many people. That was the most
inspirational presentation I have ever seen. I hope more people have the same thought
as me; I was thinking of joining a gang when I was older but now I don't think
I want to. I'm growing up around drugs and everyone around me is smoking. I have breathing problems and it worries me.

Sincerely,
Undecided Teen
____________________________________________________________________________

Dear Undecided,
I am very glad you listened and understood so much of my message! Yes, peer pressure is strong, but you can be stronger! I am glad you saw that joining a gang doesn't solve the fears, loneliness, anger of life. In truth, they just magnify them and channel them into so much more sadness and loss of good lives.
You are clearly emotionally intelligent, able to think things through and communicate about them. That is sooo terrific! You are way ahead of a lot of young people, and even adults! I encourage you not to ever let yourself down by thinking having feelings is wrong or a weakness. Strong and courageous men and women are those that know their feelings and work daily to channel them in healthy ways as you did with your email.

As far as being around smoking and breathing problems from it, that is a real bummer. I'm sorry your family has such an addiction to cigarettes. They smoke because they think they have to or else they get physically and emotionally irritable/anxious. That is from the nicotine and other drugs in cigarettes. What I suggest you do is try to go into another room or outside for some fresh air, go in your room and open a window. Do what you can to avoid the second hand smoke. I also suggest you pray for them to recognize their addiction and have the desire and ability to quit.
You can't nag, scold, yell at them enough to get them to quit, so I suggest you don't try! It will just make you mad! And, of course, since you've had breathing difficulties yourself, make a personal policy that you don't smoke, EVER! Just tell kids, “I don't choose to smoke. Breathing is IMPORTANT to me!"

If I can answer any more of your questions or help encourage you to keep going in a healthy direction, let me know!

God bless you!
Susie Vanderlip

Q&A with Susie: Mom worries about teen's drinking

2007-06-07T18:50:00.000-07:00

Hi Susie,
I am a single parent and right now I am having a very difficult time with my teenage son. He is currently on juvenile probation, involved in a gang and smoking marijuana. His attitude is to the point where he doesn't really care about anything and sometimes he can be really disrespectful and just not wanting to listen to rules or be disciplined. I am willing to reach out for any type of resources that may be able to help my son. I know he has a lot of mixed feelings right now, and he is trying to get on the right track. It is very hard for him, so it seems like your program would really be beneficial for him and our family.
Thank you.
Mom w/ Teenage Son
___________________________

Dear Mom w/ Teenage Son –

My heart goes out to you about your son and your concern for the choices he is making. It’s heartbreaking to see a child going down a destructive path because of their internal emotional struggles.
I would very much like to be able to share LEGACY OF HOPE with your son as well as other teens either at his school and/or in juvenile probation. I regularly do assemblies in schools and for juvenile probation departments. The program does give teens a new view on why they are making the choices they are and an opportunity to ask for help.

As far as your son's situation, I often talk to gang kids and ask about the family - who in the family has/had an alcohol or drug problem? Did his dad? His grandparents? I look for the reasons he feels worthless - where did he get neglected, verbally or physically abused, ignored, yelled at, criticized, etc? If this is in his past, he is likely to be acting out on feeling like a loser. Divorce hits kids hard as well and when they become teens, they grieve again, and think all the problems in their families are somehow their fault and/or resent the family for the pain they are having.
I wrote a book that came out last year that covers more of this. 52 Ways to Protect Your Teen that can give you more insights into your son's feelings and thoughts.

Can you have him drug tested? Can you send him to rehab if he IS using? Can you get him into counseling with you? If he is using or drinking, I highly recommend you find Al-Anon Family Groups for YOU and attend some local meetings where you can get additional support and ideas from other parents who have dealt with similar teen problems and the feelings you have of concern, guilt, worry and fear you may have for your son. The meetings are free, anonymous, no gossip and can be extremely helpful in learning how to interact with your son in a healthy way regardless of his choices.

I hope these ideas are helpful.
I will keep you in my prayers.
Susie Vanderlip

Q&A with Susie: Teen worries about Dad's drinking

2007-06-07T18:44:00.000-07:00

Hi Susie,
My dad has a drinking problem and he pushes me around. What can I do?
-Worried Teen
______________________________________________________________________________

Hi Worried Teen -
Check out www.al-anon.alateen.org
Then read everything you can about Alateen, order the pamphlets (they're free), if you can afford any of the books, I encourage you to read the little red book or the Courage to Be Me book. These will help you understand what to do about your dad's drinking and related behavior problems.

Immediately I suggest you do your best to remove yourself from wherever he is when he's been drinking. Don't hang around to be pushed around. Don't argue with him when he's been drinking; you're only arguing with alcohol, and putting yourself in a position to be hurt. Better to be happy than to be right! Alcohol makes people angry, unreasonable, critical, argumentative, and even violent.

Lastly, if he ever hits you or you are scared for your safety, pick up the phone and call 911. Get the police there to protect you and also he will get the message that his drinking and abuse is a problem. You are not being bad or disloyal. Your safety comes first. If you have to, leave and go to a friend's house over night. Where is your mom in all this?

What I am sharing with you is what I, too, learned what to do at Al-Anon/Alateen. It is the smartest steps I know.

Thanks for caring enough about yourself to reach out for help!
Susie

2007 Newsletters

2007-04-11T18:58:00.000-07:00

January
http://www.legacyofhope.com/January_2007.htm -Giving Girls Goals

February
http://www.legacyofhope.com/feb_2007.htm -Underage drinking

March
http:/// -DENIAL - Small Word, Big Impact

April
http://www.legacyofhope.com/Apr_2007.htm -Kids and Money -What They Need To Know

May
http://www.legacyofhope.com/May_2007.htm -Drug Test Your Teen - Yes or No - FREE DRUG TESTS AVAILABLE

June
http://www.legacyofhope.com/June_2007.htm -Free GRAND Subscription, Kids of Meth Parents, Prescription Drug Use in Rehab, Power of Parenting Day

July
http://www.legacyofhope.com/July_2007.htm -FOX NEWS LIVE Interview with Susie; Teens & Risk-Taking;Emotional Connection/Attunement facilitates Academic Achievement; Research on Zero Tolerance; and Parents Providing Alcohol at Parties

August
http://www.legacyofhope.com/Aug_2007.htm -Stop Childhood Obesity - Nutrition Newsletter

September
http://www.legacyofhope.com/Sept 2007.htm - Teen Emotional Issues - Talking Helps, Psychotropic Drugs and more

2006 Newsletters

2007-04-09T17:45:00.000-07:00

January Newsletter: http://www.legacyofhope.com/jan_2006.htm -
iPod Influence on Teens & Education

February Newsletter: http://www.legacyofhope.com/feb_2006.htm -Teen Prescription Drug Abuse - Pharming Parties

March Newsletter: http://www.legacyofhope.com/mar_2006.htm -The Cheating Game

April Newsletter: http://www.legacyofhope.com/april_2006.htm -Teens and the Internet

May Newsletter: http://www.legacyofhope.com/May_2006.htm - Teens and Excess Stress

June Newsletter: http://www.legacyofhope.com/June_2006.htm -Dangerous Teen Trends - Choking Game, Racy Books

July Newsletter: http://www.legacyofhope.com/July_2006.htm -Sobriety High Schools, Recovery College, Resources on Underage Drinking

August Newsletter: http://www.legacyofhope.com/August_2006.htm -Teaching Teens Tolerance

September Newsletter: http://www.legacyofhope.com/Sept_2006.htm - Essential role of School Counselors in Middle & High School

October Newsletter: http://www.legacyofhope.com/Oct_2006.htm -Eating Issues of Teens

November Newsletter: http://www.legacyofhope.com/November_2006.htm -Arts Impact on Raising Healthy Kids

December Newsletter: http://www.legacyofhope.com/December_2006.htm -Teaching Teens Compassion

2005 Newsletters

2007-04-09T17:29:00.000-07:00

January Newsletter: http://www.legacyofhope.com/jan_2005.htm -Alcohol Issues and Medical Community plus more

February Newsletter: http://www.legacyofhope.com/feb_2005.htm -Various topics - Household product Misuse, Alcohol Industry, etc

March Newsletter: http://www.legacyofhope.com/mar_2005.htm -Tobacco/Smoking Impact issues

May Newsletter: http://www.legacyofhope.com/may_2005.htm -Girl Aggression

June Newsletter: http://www.legacyofhope.com/june_2005.htm - Predatory Drugs and Young Adults

July Newsletter: http://www.legacyofhope.com/july_2005.htm - New Drug Concerns, Medical Research and USC Ban on Alcohol

August Newsletter: http://www.legacyofhope.com/aug_2005.htm -Sleep Deprivation - Impact on Teens

September Newsletter: http://www.legacyofhope.com/sept_2005.htm -Eating Habits and their Impact on Teens

October Newsletter: http://www.legacyofhope.com/oct_2005.htm -Teen Gambling Concerns

November Newsletter: http://www.legacyofhope.com/nov_2005.htm -Teen Depression

2004 Newsletters

2007-04-09T17:16:00.000-07:00

January Newsletter: http://www.legacyofhope.com/jan_2004.htm -Inhalants, Suicide, Smoking articles

February Newsletter: http://www.legacyofhope.com/feb_2004.htm -Drinking - Variety of Interesting Perspectives re: Teen Drinking

March Newsletter: http://www.legacyofhope.com/mar_2004.htm -Youth Violence Issues

May Newsletter: http://www.legacyofhope.com/may_2004.htm -Teen Depression, Suicide

July Newsletter: http://www.legacyofhope.com/jul_2004.htm -Stress-Induced Teen Drinking, Specific State Alcohol Actions

August Newsletter: http://www.legacyofhope.com/aug_2004.htm -Juvenile Drug Court - Example - Orange County, California

October Newsletter: http://www.legacyofhope.com/oct_2004.htm -Youth Violence, Video Games, and more

November Newsletter: http://www.legacyofhope.com/nov_2004.htm -What Various Countries are Doing about Youth Alcohol and Substance Abuse

2003 Newsletter

2007-04-09T17:12:00.000-07:00

Spring Newsletter: http://www.legacyofhope.com/spring_2003.htm -What's up with LEGACY OF HOPE Outreach

2002 Newsletter

2007-04-09T17:11:00.000-07:00

Spring Newsletter: http://www.legacyofhope.com/spring_2002.htm -Rural America - Alcohol & Drugs Perspective

2001 Newsletters

2007-04-09T17:06:00.000-07:00

Fall Newsletter: http://www.legacyofhope.com/fall_2001.htm -Lessons on Sex Learned on the Dance Floor/Freaking

Spring Newsletter: http://www.legacyofhope.com/spring_2001.htm -Various Prevention Topics

Winter Newsletter: http://www.legacyofhope.com/winter_2001.htm -Pre-Teen Fashion Concerns, Youth and Gun Violence, Verbal Abuse Impact

2000 Newsletters

2007-04-09T16:57:00.000-07:00

Fall Newsletter: http://www.legacyofhope.com/fall_2000.htm -Dealing with Stress: How Men and Women Differ, various Prevention Articles

Spring Newsletter: http://www.legacyofhope.com/spring_2000.htm -Prevention Info, Service Learning Curriculum

Winter Newsletter: http://www.legacyofhope.com/winter_2000.htm -National Youth Anti-Drug Media Campaign

1999 Newsletter

2007-04-09T16:48:00.000-07:00

Fall Newsletter: http://www.legacyofhope.com/fall_1999.htm -Elements of a Good Prevention Program, Teen Violence Prevention

my book: 52 Ways To Protect Your Teen

2007-04-09T15:57:00.000-07:00

iParenting Media Award, 2006 EXCELLENT PRODUCTS WINNER!

52 Ways to Protect Your Teen

Guiding Teens to Good Choices and Success

Author Susie Vanderlip, CSP

52 Ways is a clear and honest guide for parents, grandparents, educators,counselors, therapists, and for adults who care about Teens.

A great read for teens, as well, to get along better with parents and peers!

* Sleep better knowing your teen is well prepared to resist peer pressure.
* Written in 52 short, easy-to-read chapters
* Unique insights into the “why” and “how” teenagers think.

For more information about 52 Ways to Protect your Teen or to place an order visit www.waystoprotect.com

I wrote this book based on lengthy one-on-one conversations with 25,000 individual teens following my LEGACY OF HOPE® assemblies at their schools and youth conferences.

The world our youth are growing up in today is not the same as the world of our childhood. The pressures and the pains of adolescence are magnified multi-fold, and so are the means of escaping them. So we adults need a reality check AND we need to know how to reach teenagers raised in a digital, multi-media, sound-bite, extreme, star-studded, sexualized, endorsed drug-using social environment. Let's not forget that it is a bottom-line profits world today in which we've allowed corporate America to market everything under the sun to our youth with sexual messages we would have considered pornography a generation ago.

HOW TO with a mighty mix of HOPE! 52 Ways is easy to read -- read a little, read a lot, then re-read when you want to try out a new skill or approach to a teen, on a day he/she is sporting a less than communicative "attitude"!

Who I Am and What I Do

2007-04-09T15:25:00.000-07:00

Maybe you just saw me at your school today, or maybe I talked at a conference you were at in the past... You may remember me best as "Julio", a gang member from the barrio with a mean, alcoholic dad and a painful past... Maybe you'll remember me best as the cheerleader in red whose dad drinks too much, or how about the soccer player whose parents just split and is now cutting on herself because of emotions she cannot face. Maybe you remember these or another of the 8 characters I portray in my one-woman show, LEGACY OF HOPE

All these characters are based on real teens and adults I’ve met on my journey to help teens understand the power and purpose of their feelings and, more importantly, how they drive us from within – how anger, sadness, grief, self-loathing, hopelessness and despair are important emotions that tell us we need to reach out and ask for help from caring and safe people.

I also hope you'll just remember me as Susie, the lady in the red jacket who spoke about a 15 year-old girl and a 17-year-old boy who met in high school, fell madly in love, and later got married. Do you remember how I shared that they first tried alcohol and pot at parties in college (like parties in every high school in America today!)? I shared how HE really liked it. In fact, he turned to alcohol and drugs to cope with the stress/emotions in his life. He was an intelligent and capable person who became a dentist, yet turned to prescription and illegal drugs to handle his feelings, fears, discomfort, anxiety, depression, and disappointments. Then, you may remember my sharing that SHE began to feel suicidal living with him. It didn’t matter how high he got or what he took to get there, he now was mean and angry or ignored her completely. She had been the high school valedictorian and voted Most Likely to Succeed. It did not matter. His criticisms and unkindness eroded her self-esteem. Then, one night, he self-medicated for the flu: took some prescription pain killer (like Oxycontin), drank some alcohol, and snorted lines of cocaine. In the middle of the night, his heart stopped; by morning he was gone. That morning at the age of 35, as I shared, my husband died. This was my story. And, of course, my pain. In the 20+ years since that happened, I have learned so many important lessons about dealing with feelings, how to get out of feeling like a victim, how to heal anger/shame/resentment, who to talk to about grief, and just what it takes to develop emotional wisdom – the key ingredient to feeling happy, joyous and free of past pain.

So, here I am – ready to be a resource to you and your friends if you get what I’m talking about – if someone else’s drinking, drug use, sexual acting out, unkindness, criticism, cruelty has affected your emotions like it did mine. If you come from a family where someone has a drinking or drug problem, or a family with verbal, physical, emotional abuse, perhaps you, too, need to know where to get help. I can help you with that. I am not a therapist, a counselor, or a licensed social worker. I am simply one person willing to share their experience, strength and hope along the road to emotional well-being – particularly if you’ve thought you were the only one dealing with such things.